Can we out live it

Walking back.

   "This is fucken crazy." I say running after him.
    "One, don't fucken talk to me like this, I am the reason you are here and I will be the reason you leave, two." He stopped and turned to me. "I saw all the medical records." He says slowly.
    "Yeah ok and, I fell off the horse a few times." I say back avoiding eye contact.
    "Thats bullshit I have seen you ride you ain't falling off that much. I know first hand what the hell they were." He looks at me. I speed walk off.
    "Fuck no you don't, don't go there with me." I yell back.
    He ran after me. "Yes I do."
    "You have no idea what happened to me." I yell.
    "I do, you went to a different hospital each time, so they didn't know."
     "FUCK YOU." I say pushing him
     "How long?" He asked I started to panic. "Hey no no, its ok, look your safe." Tears started to run down my face. He pulled me into a hug. He felt like something I haven't felt in years. He felt like safety.
    "Like 4 years." I say still sobbing.
    "Oh darlin." He says.
    "What do you mean you know first hand?" I ask.
    "My dad he um beat my mom and brother and I, one day he beat them just to much."
     "Is he in prison?" I asked.
   "No, I cracked his head in." He said lower.
     "I wish." I say angerly through my sobs.
    "Can I trust you, to let me know what's happening, for the past few days you have been having moments."
    "Yeah, I just don't want the guys to know, I don't want anyone to know, I am still terrified, and I can't control it." I say my crying calming down.
    "You can trust me and the panic attacks ain't because your scared they are because you are re living it."
    "Hmm, how did you get rid of it?" I asked. We were Walking again at this point.
     "I haven't, it's still there. But honestly the ranch and getting branded."
     "Branded?" I asked. He pulled down his shirt just enough so I could see it.
    "Shit, what does it mean?"
     "It means I alway have a home, that I am forever here at yellowstone. It's given to all the criminals, it's a way to say you can trust us. I guess." He says buttoning his shirt back up. "Before you jump to wanting one, think." He says
   "I didn't get to thank you, for giving me a chance."
    "Yeah because you have been to damn angry to." He says back and I smile.
    "Well that's nice, isn't it see it Ain't hard to smile." He says.
     " really I haven't seen you smile once." I say back.
    "I smile, don't I?"
     "No." I say laughing.
     "Hm, well I am letting you know that you never have to tell me thank you."
      "I am sorry to talking to you like that." I say.
      "Hey don't be, when Mr Dutton first found me I told him to fuck off and I was going to kill him with a stick." I laughed.
     "Oh wow at least I didn't threaten you." 
     "Yeah I don't think I would have given you a job." He chuckled
      "I needed this." I say seeing the ranch lights.
    "I know, that's why I did it." He said. "If you ever need it again let me know."
    "I will, do you do this for all your cowboys or just the pretty ones." I say
    "Hell I think Lloyd's pretty to." We both laughed.
     "Sure you do, I am telling him that." I say
      "Hmm, well goodnight, get some sleep."
     "Rip, I am thinking about it."
    "About what?"
     "Getting branded."
     "Like I said, think because if you do you aren't leaving."
     "I know, but hell I have been here a week and have been safer and happier then ever." He nodded. "Goodnight rip." I say walking into the bunkhouse.
    "Hey she is alive." Ryan joked.
    "You still have a job?" Colby asked.
    "Hell he must really like you." Jimmy said.
    "Shut the fuck up all of you. Yes I have a Job." I say and they laughed.
     "You wanna play?"
     "You guys want your ass kicked again, damn." I say sitting down.
      "Fuck she has teeth." Ryan said laughing because I smiled.
     "And there a hell of a lot better then any of yours." I say and everyone laughed.