Can we out live it

alone

The boys all just set out to set up camp. It was late and me and rip were feeding the horses. After we finished we decided to go sit up at his place and have a beer.
   "Thanks." I say after he handed me one.
   "Yeah." He said sitting down on the steps next to me. I took off my hat and put hung it on the railing.
    "You've been getting better." He said.
    "Only cause of you, your the only reason I have gotten through this." I said back.
   "Hmm." He says back.
    "You know I think I know why you hate thank yous."
    " Whys that darlin."
    "Because you hate affection."
     "Hey, who says."
     "Well I feel like I am the only one who sees this side of you."
     "What side?" He is acting clueless.
     "This fucken teddy bear one." I say back laughing.
     "I don't have a teddy bear side."
     "Yes you do."
      "Hmm."
     "See that right there, I was showing affection and you go hmm." He shook his head. He held his hand out.
     "What?" I ask.
      "I don't show affection?" He says. Still holding out his hand. I reach my hand out and he grabs it.
    "Rip what did you mean the other night ,at the rodeo?" I ask holding his hand.
    "What part?"
     "When you said "who says I don't" ."
     "Ahh that, I ain't joking."
     "So if I asked you to date me right now you would?"
     "I mean if you ask." I lean into him.
     "I can't."
     "I know that's why I said you have to, because you aren't ready yet."
    "I am sorry."
    "No no don't do that, you don't gotta be sorry for not being ready to date yet, you were just in a 8 year marriage and was abused."
    "But you would never do that to me."
     "Your right darlin, but somewhere up there you don't believe that." He says pointing to my brain.
    "I want to believe it so bad." I say Tearing up.
    " I'll wait darlin I will." I cuddled up into his arms.
    "Thank you rip." I say.
    "You said you don't love him anymore?" Rip asked.
     "No I don't love him he's a monster."
    "I am to." He says lowly.
     "No baby your not, you do what you have to."
     "What you call me?"
     "Baby."
      "Hmm, I like that." He says smiling. I laughed and placed my hands on his chest. 
    "Do you?"
     "Oh yeah."
    "Well then, baby will you go watch the stars with me." I ask.
     "Hell yeah." Rip runs inside and grabbed a blanket. We walk out to the edge of the field against a tree. Rip sets the blanket down and sits up against the tree. I sit down in-between his legs and rest up against him.
   "This, this is nice." I say.
    "If you fall asleep I will carry you back." Rip says.
    "All the way back?"
     " hunny I have carried calfs and colts and fencing, that's 10 times Heavier then you 20 times father."
    "Ah yes ranch workouts." He laughed I could feel his belt buckle on my back again. I learned that feeling is very comfortable to me.
    "Well also you pretty damn light." He said.
    "Why thank you." I say. We sat for a long time intill my eyes got heavy and I drifted to sleep.