I dont Deserve you

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I have been staying at rips place for the past few days. I think the boys have caught onto us but they don't mind. I went to take a shower and rip went to make dinner. He has been saying om the couch and said they I need to stay in the bed, because I don't need to be sleeping on a couch. Getting in the shower I did what I need to and then it kinda all came flooding back I began to cry I sat down. Rip comes up to the door and knocked.
  "Can I come in?" He asked.
   "Yeah." I say.
    "Can i?"
    "Yes." Still completely clothed he got in the shower behind me and sat down. I feel his belt buckle against me again but this time its cold.
    "Thats really cold rip." I say.
    "Sorry darlin." I feel him shift and slide his whole belt off. He tossed it outside the shower. "Whats going on?" He asked.
    "I don't know I guess it all just kinda came back to me." I say. He had his arms wrapped around me in the most respectful manner for me having no clothes on. "I am also sorry for making you wait. "
   "Darlin, I told you I would."
   "Yeah but It just when rory died I felt a huge weight lift off of me and I felt free."
    "I know, that's why I waited."
    "I still feel bad."
     "Don't." There was a silence for a minute.
     "Rip you have cloths on."
     "Yes yes I do."
     "Your fucken soaked."
     "Yes I am, it's alright though, how are you healing." He say referring to my wound.
     "Really well, the pain killers really really help."
      "Good." I just realized I am naked. Rip is not taking advantage of me in anyway he is not doing disrespectful not hurting me. He's just sitting making me feel better.
      "Rip I don't deserve you." I say.
     "No Darlin you deserve better." He says ." Now let's go eat ok." We both get out and dry off. Rip changed and then we went to eat. 
    "Rip do you think you could lay with me tonight."
     "Is this cause you felt bad about me sleeping on the couch?" He asked.
     "No, I mean yes kinda but no I just."
      "You sure?"
       "Yeah."
       "Alright, how's the food?"
      "Really good, thank you." I say. "I think I should get back to work tomorrow."
       "No." He says shaking his head.
       "Why not?"
       "Because what if your stitch breaks and you fall off a horse and."
       "Rip." I say cutting him off. "I will be fine, plus I have you there to protect me." I say.
       "I don't like the idea." He says.
      "Please boss." I say putting my hands together.
       "Fine, but no heavy lifting or anything dangerous." He says.
        "I won't I won't." I say. "When am I going back to the bunkhouse?"
       "Whenever you want I guess." He says back.
      "In a few days I think I will be good to go." He nodded his head. I didn't want to go but I had to. After finishing dinner we sat on the couch and watched TV. I started to drift asleep.
    "Come on." I here rip whisper. He picks me up and carry my to the bed. He lays me down and I here him doing stuff. Then I feel him lay down next to me. I turned too him and cuddled up next to him.
   "God I love you." I mumble.
    "I love you to goodnight." He says. I hate that I will have to go back to the bunkhouse, because this is the best thing ever.

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