FEELS LIKE • CONRAD FISHER

019, back to cousins

THE NEWS OF susannah's passing came early on a friday morning in april. carolina was just getting ready in her dorm room to head to her first class. it was her mom that had to break the news to her about susannah. carolina broke down in her dorm room. she didn't go to any of her classes that day.

ever since conrad and her stopped talking in december, she had to turn to jere to see how susannah was doing. from what jeremiah told her, she was doing well. so the news of her passing was very unexpected to hear for carolina.

so much happened that year from her parents starting the divorce process, to breaking up with conrad, and susannah's death. too much happened for her to even process.

some time passed by and now it was summer for carolina at college. lucky for her, she finished before most colleges did. her dorm room was all packed up in boxes and she was ready to head to cousins for the summer time.

as carolina drove, it gave her a lot of time to think. the summer time now wasn't going to be the same as the last ones. summer with out susannah wouldn't even count as summer for carolina. the town would feel lonely without susannah and the rest there. she was going to be in cousins with just her mom and daniel this summer.

it will never feel like summer anymore without her.

music filled carolina's car as she drove through the empty streets of cousin at night. she was relieved to be in cousins because she had been driving for a while. she drove past the fishers summer house with a frown on her face.

she drove her car into the garage and immediately headed into the house. she was going to be the only one in there for a week since daniel and her mom had other things to do. it was gonna feel even more lonely this time around. no fishers, no conklins, no mom, and no daniel to keep her company.

she went up to her room and grabbed her sheets for her bed from the closet. she took them into her room and started to make her bed. she flattened the sheets and sighed looking at them. last time she was here, it was fall break.

"carolina...care...you gotta get up. it's almost 10." a voice chuckled, waking her up. she felt arms wrapped around her and a light kiss on her shoulder. her eyes fluttered open and smiled once she saw conrad next to her. they were both wrapped up in her warm, pastel blue sheets. "morning, care. you wanna get muffins for breakfast?" he asked.

"yeah." she said stretching her body.

"c'mon we gotta go before they're all sold out," he said stroking her cheek softly and kissing her forehead.

it was fall break and carolina and conrad were in cousins. although it was too cold for the beach, they still wanted to go. seeing each other for one day every couple of weeks wasn't enough for them. they decided to go to cousins together to relax and forget about college for a bit.

they spent the past couple of days playing in the sand, watching movies, and exchanging many kisses with each other. it was nice to spend time with him like that. she knew he was stressed with school and was concerned about susannah all the time. she knew he needed to relax for a couple of days, which susannah agreed to.

when they told susannah, she was quick to tell conrad to go. it's not that she didn't want him home for break, but she didn't want conrad to worry about her. susannah texted carolina separately and asked to take care of him.

they had nothing but smiles on their faces the whole time they were there.

carolina snapped back into reality when her phone rang. jeremiah was calling her, which was unusual. after her and conrad broke up, she obviously still kept in touch with jeremiah with susannah and everything, but they never called each other.

"hello? jere?" carolina said answering the call.

"are you with conrad right now?" jeremiah asked. carolina's head tilted after hearing that. "what? why would i be with him—are you okay? did something happen?" she asked. her and conrad broke up months ago.

"he's not responding to my texts or calls. have you talked to him lately?" jeremiah asked. the last time carolina talked to him was at susannah's funeral. it didn't end in the best way when they broke up. "uh, no, no not since—"

"oh, i'm sorry. well, i'm going to brown tomorrow to see if he's there. i'm kind of worried about him. his roommate said he asked him to take notes for him." jeremiah told her. "are you in cousins?" he asked.

"uh, yeah. by myself for a week then daniel and my mom are coming. you should stop by on the way back from brown. it would be nice to see you again." carolina smiled. "it's been quite a while, it doesn't feel the same though."

"uh, belly's coming with me to brown. i just called her before this, so, i'm going to bring her too." jeremiah responded. carolina knew belly liked conrad still. it was still awkward with them since last summer when belly got drunk on the fourth. "uh, yeah totally. uh, steven too?" she asked.

"no, he doesn't know yet. don't tell anyone right now, okay? laurel doesn't know about belly leaving to brown. taylor's covering for her." jeremiah replied. carolina nodded "okay, uh just let me know if he's okay." she said.

"i will. i'll see you around tomorrow then." jeremiah said.

"yeah, okay. bye." she said as they both hung up. carolina sighed, dropping her phone on her bed. she ran her hands over her face in stress. it felt like one thing had to happen right after the other. this year was already tough as is, why was it getting harder?

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authors note

i move in for college in a couple of weeks
so i'm trying to write as much as possible!
i don't know how much time i'll have to write :(