Always Then and Now

Chapter 20

HANNAH

I was nursing a bit of a hangover the next morning when I woke up. I didn't drink that often, so it never took much for me to feel the alcohol, and today I was paying the price. There was a big part of me that wanted to just stay in my old bed and sleep the day away, and being my day off, I could have done just that, but I felt guilty, leaving Liam all alone with Emily all day, especially after leaving him alone with her all night last night. I hadn't even taken the time last night to text him and ask him how things had gone with her. Just that text at the end of the night letting him know I was staying here. Now I felt even more guilty. I could already hear his voice in my head, telling me there was nothing to feel guilty about, but I couldn't help it. It was there, eating away at my gut.

I threw back the covers and sat up, then planted both feet on the floor, hung my head between my knees and closed my eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over me. Okay, so apparently, I needed to move more slowly this morning. I took a few deep breaths to try to calm my stomach and my head, and then slowly got up, popped a couple of Advil, and then grabbed some older clothes I hadn't brought with me to Liam's and got dressed.

Jai was sitting at the table with a coffee in hand, looking just as disheveled as I felt. We didn't often drink a lot on game night, but since it'd been Kate's first time, and she'd declared she'd wanted to let loose and have fun, the alcohol had been flowing. I was regretting that decision now, and I could see that Jai was too. He gave me a tired, pained smile as I walked into the room and half-heartedly lifted his mug toward me. "Coffee?"

I scrunched up my nose at him and shook my head, then winced when the motion of it sent a spike of pain through me. "Gross." I hated coffee. I moved past him into the kitchen and brewed a mug of tea, then sat down next to him at the table. "Why do we do this to ourselves?"

"Cause we're stupid," he said miserably, then dropped his head onto his arm on the table.

I couldn't disagree with him there. I took a tiny, careful sip of my tea and closed my eyes against the thumping in my head.

"Wanna watch movies all day and order pizza for dinner tonight?" Jai asked, not even bothering to lift his head to look at me. We always did this anytime we were hungover.

I hesitated. I wanted to spend time with my best friend, but I also felt like I needed to get back to Liam and Emily. I chewed my lip as I tried to think about it through the cotton in my brain.

Jai raised his head to look at me with bleary eyes when I didn't respond right away. "Han? Whaddaya think?" He slurred a few of those words together, as if speaking every word succinctly was too difficult.

I looked at him for a moment and then spilled. "I want to, but I think I need to get back to Liam. He's had Emily by himself for several hours now, and this is his first time. What if he needs me? To help, I mean?"

"I'm sure he can handle a two-year-old for a little while longer. You can have a day off, you know. In fact, it's kind of mandatory for him to give you one."

"I know, but what if he needs help? What if he's overwhelmed? He's getting better with Emily, but a few weeks ago, he didn't have a parental bone in his body. He's not going to be super-dad immediately," I said worriedly, my fingers idly playing with the tab on the tea bag.

"He can be my super daddy anytime he likes, parental bone and all," Jai said suggestively.

I rolled my eyes. Even hungover, Jai was full of innuendo. "Gross. This is my boss we're talking about, dude."

"Yeah, your incredibly sexy boss," he protested, seeming to come a little more awake now. "You'd have to be blind not to see it, Han. And with the way you blush at every little thing he says, I know you see it."