The Spider: Origins

June 20, 2021

I woke at two in the morning with aches and pains in my teeth and gums. I whimper and push myself out of my bed, making a beeline for the fridge where cold water is kept in hopes that the cold would soothe my pain.

While it didn't happen often, I got toothaches occasionally from my bad teeth. While I was getting better, the last couple years of neglecting my health hasn't done me many favors.

A swig of water dulled my pain down to a throbbing sensation and I relaxed some. I knew with the way it was now, I'll probably be dealing with the pain for the next couple days. Which sucks, because my period had already passed and I was relieved about not having anything else to worry about and that I could relax and have fun at the Con.

I blink blearily, vision blurry without my glasses. I gnash my teeth lightly, feeling the dull throbbing flare up. I hiss under my breath and make my way back to my bed. I really didn't need this today. I needed to get some sleep for the plane ride.

I sigh and head back to bed. Other than the tooth aches, I felt a hell of a lot better than the past two days since getting bit.

I drifted in and out the rest of the night and I even tried to force myself to sleep until just before my sister was to take me to the airport. It helped, especially since the girls had gone with their mother on a trip and I didn't have them bothering me.

~~~

I wasn't a physically affectionate person, as much as I wanted to be. But this was the kind of thing that needed physical affection.

It was incredibly awkward for me, but I knew we both needed it.

Anxiety and fear was swelling in me. I may be homeless for a couple months after this first week, but I had a job waiting for me so I had that going for me at least. The first week is for relaxing and enjoying my time there. Then the rest is for working and getting settled.

I was utterly determined to make this work. But to ease my sister's mind, I promised that if things don't work out by the end of the year, I'd let her fly me back to North Carolina and try again in a year.

It wasn't very safe for me here, for several reasons.

This trip was my ticket to freedom.

I settle down in a chair near the terminals and I'm so terrified of missing my flight, I can't even get lost in my phone or switch or blare my music into my headphones.

I fidget with the cube I'd just bought to try and soothe the ball of anxiety and fear. For once, I'm thankful for the dull pounding of my aching teeth, which helped even more to distract me.

My leg bounces uncontrollably and the old lady across from me leans forward, "First time, dear?"

I glance up at her sharply and give her an awkward, close mouthed smile, "Yeah. I think I flew once before when I was younger, but it's a blurry memory by now. And I wasn't alone then."

The lady turns to her bag and pulls out an unopened pack of gum, "Here. Chewing gum can help with nerves. And cabin pressure." She smiles at me gently and I take the packet with a much more genuine smile, if still close mouthed.

"Thank you." I told her.

"It's no problem. I understand the first flight anxiety, especially if you're on your own." She says.

I was still super nervous, but I felt a bit more relaxed. Logically, I knew it was okay to be nervous and uneasy about flying, but it felt validating for someone to say it aloud.

~~~

I look down at my phone, tracking when my Uber would be here, running over my teeth with my tongue.

Flat flat flat small SHARP SHARP flat flat flat flat SHARP small SHARP flat flat flat

I blink, confused. That was wrong. Something was wrong with my teeth. There wasn't a single gap and I lost the sharp point of my left upper canine a while ago. It shouldn't be poking my tongue.

I switched apps from Uber to Camera and flipped the camera to face me. I grin widely at the camera and I stare in utter shock and surprise when my teeth are completely fixed, and though not pearly white, clean.

I snap a picture and send it to my sister with the caption, Somethings wrong. My teeth are fixed.

I swipe the bottom of my screen to go back to Uber and see it turning into the airport pick up line. As my ride pulls up, I pull my bag off my shoulders and after confirming my ride. I slid into the car, putting my bag down beside me.

A pop up of a message from my sister shows up on my phone and I click it.

Are you fucking with me?

A reasonable question, No, I'm dead serious. I'll facetime you when I get settled at my hostel.

💜

I glance out the window and watch the scenery pass by. At least my teeth don't hurt anymore, and probably won't ever again if I keep them healthy.

It's literally a new start for me.