Anakin Skywalker/ Hayden Christensen one shots

leaving

this is based off the song leaving by zach bryan, such a good song but sad.

the lyrics are in italics

y/n pov

we've been fighting for so long, it'd be a shame to let this go

"fuck you" i yelled as hot tears streamed down my face. the man in front of me looked at me with an angry expression. i watched as he ran his fingers through his hair quickly.

"i'm leaving" he yelled grabbing his robes.

"where are you going?" i said little quieter, almost begging for him to stay. he looked at me with zero expression on his face. i knew he would come back, he always did, but we'd been fighting for so long i still got nervous. i crossed my arms as my skin tinged from the warm tears.

"out, don't wait up" i knew that meant he was getting drunk and coming home late. he would fall into bed and wake me up noisily. i knew we should just let this go and finally say goodbye, but neither of us could do it.we went around in circles of fighting and him leaving. every part of my body ached for this to end, not us but just the fighting. i knew it would be smarter and better for both of us to break up, but i had been with him for so long i couldn't even comprehend doing that.

we had started dating when we were both sixteen, and jedi knights. we got married at nineteen. and now we're twenty two and jedi masters. we'd been at this for seven years and i'm not ready to throw it all away. the fighting started around three months ago. there was no reason that i could remember, but it started. and hasn't stopped.

anakin pov

but i'd rather let it lie than hurt a sweet girl i know

i walked down the hall as tears filled my eyes. i knew i should go back and hug her and tell her it's ok. but at this point i'm not sure it would do anything. i don't remember the last time i held my wife. i would rather struggle through the hard parts, the hurting and yelling and crying, than let her go. i knew that every marriage has rough patches, but if i knew it was this bad i think i would've been to scared to propose. i'm glad i didn't know because that was the best decision of my life. and staying with her through all of this is the second best. eventually it will get better, i know that and she knows that. but i'm times like this all i can hope for is a quick way out.

the air was cold as i walked down the street towards the closest bar. i would do what i did every time, the same shitty thing. i would get drunk and come home in a drunken haze. i would wake up in the morning and walk out to our living room with a raging headache, only to find her sleeping on the couch. she would be pissed off because i woke her up coming home late, and i would stand there and admire how beautiful she looked. i would dread when she woke up knowing i would just disappoint her more.

y/n pov

and it's getting dark now so won't you just stay, and i'll tell you that i love you till the leaving goes away

i lay in bed, my heart was crying but my eyes didn't have anything left. i stayed up as late as i could waiting for him, but i always fell asleep before he got home. i felt my eyes began to feel heavy and i flipped over so i wasn't facing the door, but now i was facing his pillow. his empty pillow. i reached my shaking hand over and touched it. i could perfectly picture his head resting so softly as he drifted deeper and deeper into sleep. i missed the nights where we both got a healthy amount of sleep.

i heard the front door unlock and my eyes fluttered open. i had fallen asleep with my hand still on his pillow. i didn't have one ounce of energy left in my body and didn't even attempt to move my hand. he walked in, kicked his shoes off and crawled into bed without even changing. his soft hair touched my hand and i opened my eyes once more. he was looking at me and when he saw me looking at him in return a small smile occupied his lips.

every bone in my aching body wanted to tell him i loved him, but i wasn't sure how much that would do. i wished we could stay here till the rough patch left and moved on.

anakin pov

till the leaving leaves this house, no we ain't going out till i make some promises i can't keep

i watched as her beautiful y/e/c eyes looked at me in the dark room. her hand was next to my face and i could smell the faint smell of her body wash. i wanted nothing more than to lay with her till we both were to old to walk. i wouldn't leave her side till death brought down his deadly hammer. and still i would watch her from the afterlife.

i knew when morning came it would be back to the same. we would fight or even worse not speak a word to each other. i wouldn't want her to leave because i thought if she left now she would never come back. sometimes i wished i could lock the door and we could stay here till we had no fight left in us. till the sad parts had left and we felt nothing but love again.

but i knew that i would wake up and get ready for work, and she would do the same without even looking at me. we would say goodbye, but never i love you. then we would both say "see you later" never truly knowing if that was true. but i prayed every time that it was, and i was blessed with her presence every night.

y/n pov

and i wish i could explain how the toxins in my brain get me so damn down, that sometimes i can't speak

i lay in bed still looking at him. tears pushed at my eyes and i wondered why i felt so shitty. then i remembered exactly what started our fighting, me. my aching urge to stay in bed. the shitty feeling i got in the pit of my stomach. the tears that had dried on my pale cheeks.

some times i got so low to the point of not even having the energy to open my eyes. i would lay in bed and hope just to fall asleep again, staring at the back of my eye lids. anakin would never understand this and that was where this whole thing started. i didn't get up and he couldn't understand why.

anakin pov

and you'll try to understand why i can't be a better man but it's hard when i'm yelling at you in the street

me and y/n both had our problems causing this shitty situation. she was depressed. she didn't want to get up or eat or talk or do anything. and i didn't know how to help. it frustrated me that i couldn't help and that she couldn't get up. looking back at it, i was never really mad at her, just at myself. but now it had blossomed into something much, much worse.

it killed me when she got like this. the days turned into nights and she just laid there. i would bring her food she would barely touch and watched as she just withered away.

y/n pov

so if leaving comes to stay and you walk yourself away leave knowing that no one could love you more than me

if anakin ever did leave i'm not sure what i would do. there's very few things that could ever get me to get out of bed again and he will forever be one. he's the sun when i wake up in the morning and the moon when i fall asleep at night. he's the oxygen i breathe. he's the food i eat and the liquid i drink. he's the very drug that tears me apart, and the only rehab i'll ever need.

i just hope that if he ever does walk away he walks away knowing i'll stay right here and wait for him. i hope he knows i will love him till my heart stops beating. i want nothing in this world more than him and never will.

there was a simple understanding between us of these things. we both knew that we couldn't live without each other. we both knew that we would love each other till we couldn't anymore. and we both knew that there was no way we were ever getting out of this relationship, even when the leaving comes to stay. 

word count: 1506