Puppy Love ||OHSHC||

Chapitre Vingt et Un

"Hey Tamaki, where did you want to go tonight?" I questioned as I sat down next to him in the club room during lunch. 

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a bite of his salad.

"You said you wanted to go on a date tonight, after school since it's the weekend. Oh! Wait, I know! That place you took me that one day! We could do that!" I rambled, the thought popping into my mind.

"What place?" Tamaki questioned.

"A couple months ago, that roof top place. You said you really loved the food there," I said excitedly, grabbing Tamaki's hand.

"Mathieu can you just stop?" Tamaki suddenly said exasperatedly, pulling his hand away from mine.

"Tamaki? Is everything okay?" I asked gently, shocked by the sudden dismissal. 

Tamaki took a deep breath, "Sometimes, you're just too much for me, Mathieu. I need a break," He replied.

"Oh," I responded, my heart falling to the pit of my stomach.

"Sorry," I said softly.

I bit the inside of my cheek and got up. I left the room without another word and went out into the hallway. I scoffed tearfully and ran a hand through my hair. 

Tadeo let out a whimper, sensing my distress.

I took a deep breath as I tried not to cry.

"Mathieu, are you alright?" Kyoya asked worriedly, about to enter the club room.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Um, anyway, I'm going to skip club tonight. Uh, I got a lot of homework," I choked out with a tight smile.

I walked away before Kyoya could say anything and before I started crying.

I went home. I was thankful my Uncle and my Father were on vacation together so it meant I didn't have to deal with their bullshit for a while. 

I went to my room and cried. I cried till my face was numb and my throat was sore. Then, I laid in bed in the silence for what seemed like hours. 

It felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone these days.

There was a soft knock at the door before it opened. "Mat, Haruhi's here. Can she come in?" I heard William ask.

"Sure," I grumbled from my tear-stained pillow.

The door closed and I felt my bed dip as Haruhi sat down next to me.

"Tamaki wanted me to come and check on you," Haruhi said softly.

I sat up and let out a scoff. "Yeah, cause he can't be bothered himself," I replied irritably.

"Mat, what happened?" She asked worriedly.

I shrugged, "Beats me. Apparently I'm too much for him," I said, air-quoting Tamaki's words. 

Haruhi's phone started to ring and she let out a sigh. I rolled my eyes when I saw Tamaki's picture. Haruhi flipped her phone open and waited for Tamaki to start talking.

"How is he?" I heard him ask.

"Maybe you should ask him that question yourself, since, oh I don't know, you're his boyfriend," Haruhi pointed out to him.

I didn't think it would be a good idea given the way I was feeling at the moment.

I didn't hear what Tamaki said next but Haruhi extended her phone to me. 

"He wants to talk to you," She stated.

"I don't want to talk to him right now," I replied.

Haruhi wrapped up the conversation after that. Then she got a call from her father and had to go.

I took a deep breath as I stared at my ceiling. William had taken Tadeo to the dog park so I was without my support animal for the time being.

Half an hour later the door bell was ringing. I trudged down the stairs and to the front door to answer it.

I froze for a second when I opened the door and I saw Tamaki standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, some what annoyed.

"I want to talk. About earlier," Tamaki started.

"Well I don't want to talk to you Tamaki, so, I think it's best we save this conversation for tomorrow because I am really upset with you right now," I said civilly, trying my best to stay composed. But it wasn't really working because I could feel my tear ducts filling and the anger bubbling in my chest.

"Mathieu, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way," Tamaki apologized.

"How else was it supposed to come out, Tamaki?" I griped.

Tamaki opened and closed his mouth, no sounds making it past his lips. 

"I was just trying to make you happy," I quaked, my lip quivering slightly.

"Mathieu," Tamaki spoke.

I scoffed with a tight smile. "But I'm sorry if I was being too overbearing. Or clingy. It's just been a while since I've had people to reciprocate the way I feel about them," I said coldly.

"That's not fair," Tamaki responded sternly.

"You wanna know what's not fair? I tried doing something nice for you and you blew me off! I tried so hard just to make you happy and you told me I'm too much?!" I shouted, tears starting to fall from my eyes.

Tamaki didn't say anything and avoided my eyes.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes hastily.

"I get, that I can be a lot to deal with. But I thought you could handle it since you said you loved me," I told Tamaki shakily.

"I do love you!" He shot back desperately. 

I shook my head softly, "Do you know how many times I say those words as a defense mechanism? Or how often I hear it as an apology. Those words don't mean anything. I would've thought that you out of anyone else would know me better," I sniffled.

When he didn't say anything I sighed deeply.

"I think we're done here. I'm sorry for wasting your time," I said softly, going to close the door.

"Wait! Mathieu, please, don't do this!" Tamaki pleaded, grabbing my hand. I ripped my hand away from him.

"I said we're done here," I restated.

"Okay," Tamaki resigned, taking a step back.

I shut the door and went up to my room. 

I covered my mouth as I slowly crumbled against my bedroom door, curling my knees into my chest. I let the sobs wrack through my body. I let the tears seep into my sleeve, cradling my head, my sides cramping as I struggled to breathe. I wasn't sure when I had last cried this hard. 

It was for the best. He was probably bound to leave anyway. It's just how it is. How it always is. It's better to push them away now than later.

Word Count: 1,058

Some angst :)
I'm not sorry.