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Masha
My hands wouldn't stop trembling. It felt like there was an endless pit in my stomach. My mind kept going back to the pained look on Jordan's face and the tears up her eyes. I should've been more gentle with my words. I should've been careful about how she would feel.
"Mash, hindi 'yon galit sa 'yo. Si Jordan pa," Lincoln said reassuringly as he remained seated next to me at the round table.
"I just didn't want her to regret anything," I tried to explain myself between my sniffling, as if it would even matter. "I know her, Linc. She would always risk everything for the people she loves, and then suffer silently over the aftermath. Ayokong madagdagan ang mga dinadala niya. Ayokong madagdagan ang mga pinagsisisihan niya. She's been through hell all these years already."
"Ha? Anong ibig mong sabihin?" tanong ni Lincoln habang marahang tinatapik ang balikat ko at inaabutan ako ng tissue.
Umiling na lamang ako. The last thing I wanted was to betray Jordan's trust.
All of a sudden, the door beside us opened. Gil entered, soaking wet from the rain. Before he got to close the door, I caught a glimpse of the staircase heading up the third floor and fourth floor, as well as the staircase heading down the main living room.
Napatayo ako mula sa kinauupuan at agad na sinalubong si Gil. "Galit ba siya? Umiiyak ba siya?"
"Nagugutom daw siya." Gil shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "Huwag kang mag-alala, hindi siya galit. Patawa-tawa nga 'yon."
"Sabi sa 'yo," natatawa namang sambit ni Lincoln. "Hindi nagtatanim ng sama ng loob 'yon."
I sighed in relief, but it still wasn't enough. I still needed to talk to her. I still needed to apologize, to explain my side.
"Nasaan pala ang iba?" kunot-noong tanong ni Gil sabay libot ng paningin sa paligid. "Bakit kayo lang ang nandito?"
"Sinamahan nina Chad si Father Ruben para kumbinsihin ang mag nagpa-party," sagot ko at saka tinuro ang direksiyon kung nasaan ang kuwarto na kinaroroonan ng mga mata. "Rai and the guys are keeping an eye on the kids and the pregnant woman."
Gil sighed and nodded.
"Siya nga pala, tuyo na 'yong mga damit natin. Kunin mo 'yung jacket ninyo ni Jordan do'n," sabi naman ni Lincoln sabay turo sa natitirang damit sa sofa. "Nakuha na nina Arnold ang kanila."
"Wait here, I'll grab food for Jordan," sabi ko kay Gil at agad na tumungo sa maliit na kusina na nasa kabilang dulo pa ng buong floor.
***
Matapos malagyan ng tubig ang cup noodles, agad ako itong tinakpan. Habang naghihintay, naupo muna ako sa isang tabi at bumuntonghininga.
