look after you × winterwidow & oc

II. ekaterina

Natasha told him her name after the first two months of the hardest training she ever encountered in all the years she spend there. But it was also the most efficient and most impactful. There were so many visible similarities in the way they fought. He made her the fighter she was, no one else influenced that part of her more than Soldat did.

He was just Soldat to her for a bit longer. It also took him a while to call her by her name. And he only did it when he was sure no one would hear. Even from the very beginning, they were defined by secrets and forced to hide. Everything that made them human had to stay hidden. Even their names. Yet the moment she became Natalia, his walls started to crumble. Brick by brick, day by day, one by one they were falling out until she got to see that he was something more than just callous and empty Soldat. More than a puppet on Hydra's strings, whose only purpose was obeying orders.

Almost a year has passed since their first encounter when Natasha got to know his name after he finally managed to piece enough scraps of his previous life together to actually remember it. It was after their regular training session. She was lying on the floor, trying to catch her breath after the hard time he just gave her.

"James." he rasped out. He still wasn't talking much, only when he really needed to, and when he did it was so quiet.

At first, she thought she just misheard him. "What?" she turned her head to the side of the room where he was standing.

"My name," he added. "is James."

She scrunched her eyebrows and straightened her neck, looking at the ceiling.

"I thought you were Russian," she said after a while but never got an answer. He was already gone.

From that moment forward, their relationship started to develop much faster. She was getting better and better, keeping with him for much longer. They started to use her as an example when introducing Soldat to other groups. They tried hard to find more girls like her, who would match her level. They never did and Natalia and James were getting closer, not only as a trainer and trainee anymore.

They were talking more and more, getting to know each other as a person, not only as weapons. At some point, another person's presence started to offer comfort they both haven't felt in years. They became the only constant in each other's lives and that resulted in an invisible, incomprehensible bond between them, growing with each minute they spent together. It came out of the blue, without any warning but it somehow felt right. There was a huge difference in the way he acted in her presence and hers only. James was allowing himself to feel and show it, to be human because, for the first time in decades instead of having people only tell him how to live, he had found someone worth living for.

Over a year after their first meeting, they got sent out for their first mission together. Away from the place where walls had ears, away from prying eyes, guards, and handlers, it was just them. No one and nothing to stop them from being real, from letting the feelings, they weren't allowed to have, take control. So they found oblivion and solace in each other's arms, they became each other's salvation from violence and fear, deep down already knowing how dangerous a path they had taken and how much it could cost them one day.

"We knew it was forbidden." Natasha traced the rim of the glass with a fingertip. "But we couldn't care less."

"Did you ever regret it?" Laura asked quietly.

"Never." Natasha immediately answered with utter certainty "I would do it all over again. He was worth it. He saved me." hearing how close her voice was to breaking, she cleared her throat, trying to hide it.

"Sounds to me like you saved each other," Laura admitted, resting her head on her hand which elbow was propped on the back of the couch.

Natasha didn't answer, just nodded, her gaze fixed on one point. She swallowed, already feeling the familiar ache that always followed the memories she was about to uncover.