look after you × winterwidow & oc

III. clint

"I knew something was wrong when he came to me at night." even over seven years later, Natasha was still mad at James for the way he played it all out. "The way he looked at me, the things he said. That he has everything under control, that everything will be okay."

Natasha bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment. God, how she hated him at that moment.

"He left a trace. Purposely let them know where he was going. I begged him not to do that, to run away when he still had a chance. But he begged me to agree. Made me promise I would save Katya and gave me a letter for her. And also this." she reached underneath her shirt and pulled out the star necklace, identical to Katya's. "He told me he loved me. For the first and last time." the first tear found its way down Natasha's cheek. She wiped it away with one quick move. "I never said it."

"But did you?" Laura asked.

"Did I what?" Romanoff's brows furrowed in confusion when she got pulled out of her thoughts.

"Love him?"

"More than anything."

Laura opened her mouth to say something but never did. Romanoff met her gaze for the first time in a while. She saw mostly compassion and sympathy.

When the guards barged in, he fought like never before. It took almost then men to take him down. But he got his way. He wanted chaos, and disturbance, to turn their focus to him and away from everything else. Maybe a few hours later, they dragged her to a plane and the next thing she knew, she was in Siberia. James was there too, already prepared to be wiped out. They made her stand a few feet away, two guards holding her, one pulling on her hair, making sure she wouldn't move her head.

Electricity crackled and his screams started echoing through the space. She got hit every time she tried to look away. Something was telling Natasha, a gut feeling maybe, that they tortured him for much longer than they needed to. When they dragged him out of the chair, he lost consciousness. The guards laughed in unison and then someone stood inches from her and held her by her jaw.

The older man's voice was low, steady and there was something almost mocking in his tone. "Love is for children."

"That was the last time I saw him before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D." Her voice was strikingly plain, but it was the only way to keep it from cracking.

"And what about Katya?" Laura asked softly like she was scared of knocking Natasha off the track.

"She was supposed to be transported to Austria. And they chose me to go with her. Somehow no one thought I would about care her to try something, especially after what happened with James." using his name in conversation with someone else still felt so weird. "And initially, I didn't want to. I thought it was too risky and I wanted to try another time, in a different way. But then we stopped in Budapest."

"And that's when Clint showed up." Laura finished with a knowing smile.

She knew the Budapest story pretty well, that one part of the story didn't require going into details. Both Natasha and Clint had gone over it so many times. It had a great significance to them as the beginning of them, the strongest friendship they ever saw or experienced.

"Honestly, I think if it wasn't for Katya, this would have gone much differently," Romanoff admitted.

She remembered Barton's shock when he noticed the girl for the first time. He froze, giving Natasha the upper hand in their fight which she didn't have time to use because the girl spoke up, breaking them apart. Later he was complaining that no one told him about a child - she was supposed to be alone.

"You think he wouldn't have spared you?" Laura wondered.

"Maybe he would" Natasha shrugged "But it would take him much longer to make that decision."