look after you × winterwidow & oc

WHAT IF? #1

what if Natasha survived the Snap, but Katya and James didn't?

April 2018, Wakanda

"Nat?" her head turns toward James' voice when he calls out for her. She immediately notices his confusion, mixed with fear as he looks up at her, away from his open arms. Even from a distance she sees the silent plea in his eyes, cries for help as his hand starts to disintegrate in front of her eyes, and the process quickly takes him whole.

By the time Natasha reaches him, he's gone. Her fingers catch some dust but even that disappears immediately, so there is completely nothing left of James, like he never existed in the first place. She doesn't even realize she's kneeling in the very same spot he stood a few seconds before, until sudden fear and panic wash over her, bringing her to reality.

Katya.

Katya.

Katya.

The name of her daughter, their daughter starts ringing through her head as she scrambles to her feet and starts looking around. Steve steps from around some bushes and she rushes up to him, her distress written all over her face. He catches her by the arms to stop and steady her.

"Katya, have you seen her?" Natasha asks but doesn't look at him, her head still turning frantically, hoping to catch a glimpse of white hair.

"Nat..." Rogers starts, but she doesn't catch the shift in his tone nor his somber expression. She steps away from him and takes off running, passing some other Avengers, who despite their own fear and utter confusion, are unable to ignore and not notice her panic.

Her screams make it impossible to do.

"KATYA!"

They started as murmurs. The name of her daughter, muttered as she repeated it over and over again when she was still convinced that she would find the girl soon. Gradually, it grew louder, to yells that started turning heads, making her the center of attention in the middle of the apocalypse. It didn't take long for it to turn into blood-curdling screams that made her throat go sore but even that didn't make her stop.

"KATYA!"

She clings to that hope that not seeing her go gave her. Maybe she's on the other side of the battlefield, maybe she's somewhere searching for her too. She wanted to believe that. Yet after searching the surroundings, running until her legs gave out and screaming, until it hurt so much she wouldn't be surprised if her throat started bleeding, that hope was gone. That smoldering flame of hope was dying, disappearing like the two most important people in her life just did.

"Katya..." she croaks, hot tears blurring her vision before she hides her face in her hands. For a while, she sees only darkness and begs that it'll stay like this when she opens her eyes. But it's not, and it finally hits her.

She's not here.

She's gone.

Katya's gone.

Her daughter, her little girl, is gone.

She failed her. She couldn't protect her.

It was a bit different with James. It hurts too, even if clouded by the loss of Katya, it twists, breaks, and completely mauls her heart the same, but Natasha knows what's like to lose him. And even if she would never admit it out loud, a part of her was always prepared to lose him one way or the other, given their story and who they both were. To add to that, she saw him disappear, she saw him leave. It made it real and took away all doubts.

But she spent the last ten years doing her best to protect Katya. To save her from all harm and give her the best life she could ever have. Only to now lose her for something out of her control. But they could've tried harder. They should've. There must have been a way to stop this, to outsmart Thanos, something must have gone wrong-