look after you × winterwidow & oc

VIII. you weren't abandoned

Natasha found Katya maybe halfway between the house and the rest of the buildings. The girl was about to sit on the ground, facing the setting sun, her back turned to Natasha. Katya didn't move when she approached her, stopping a few steps behind at first. Romanoff let out a sigh and came closer. When even standing in line of the girl's sight didn't get any reaction out of her, Natasha sat down next to her. She reached out and put an arm on Katya's shoulder but she brushed it off.

Romanoff frowned, her worry growing as she wondered if Yelena's words could've hit her that hard, even if aimed at Natasha. A ricochet, maybe. "What's going on, zvezdochka?"

The girl didn't answer, only wrapped her arms around bent legs and rested her chin on her knees.

"What Yelena said, it wasn't about you," Natasha said softly, keeping her eyes focused on her daughter's side profile. "She's mad at me."

"I know," Katya muttered.

"Then what's wrong? You can tell me everything." Romanoff assured, plucking at a blade of grass.

The girl sighed and lifted her head. "What makes us different?"

Natasha's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"You said it wasn't real. Your family. You and Yelena." Katya explained, her gaze shifting to her mom for the first time since they came outside. "Why it wasn't real?"

"Because it was for a mission. As Melina said, it was all roles and orders. We're not related. It was all set up."

"Do you have to be related to be family?" she wiped her nose with her sleeve, but she didn't look like crying.

"No, of course not."

"Then what makes us different?"

Natasha was confused. She had no idea what exactly did her daughter mean or where could all of that be suddenly coming from.

"You took me away because you made a promise to Papa. So it's almost like it was set up. What's the difference?" Katya lowered her gaze and started digging at the patch of naked ground with her finger. "What makes this real?"

Romanoff was taken aback. She was puzzled, almost scared. Was Katya doubting her? Doubting them? That inner voice in her head already started whispering again. Failure, failure, failure.

"You know this is different." Natasha assured, lacking a better argument as she had no idea how to form one. She was rarely at a loss for words, but she never thought what Yelena said could've caused something like that. "In Ohio, we didn't have a choice. It was a job, a role I had to play. But with you... I chose you." she reached for the girl's hand, making her stop digging. Katya didn't pull away but turned her head away. Natasha noticed she bit her lip.

"But you promised Papa..." she stopped when she felt a squeeze of her hand.

Romanoff reached for her daughter's other hand and squeezed it too. "Look at me, dushen'ka." Natasha holding her hands, made Katya turn her whole body to her. "I chose to make him this promise. I could've said no." The sole thought of doing so made tears prick in her eyes. "But I didn't. It was my choice. I never had to pretend. You were my choice. And you know what?"

"What?" the girl sniffled.

"It was the best choice I ever made." Natasha smiled a wiped a stray tear from Katya's cheek, just before she threw her hands around Romanoff's neck, pulling her to a hug. Natasha caressed her back and pressed her cheek to the top of the girl's head. "And I would do it over and over again if I had to," she assured. "I would always choose you."

"I love you, mama." Katya pulled away slightly, loosening their embrace and letting their foreheads touch.

"Love you too, zvezdochka."