Lost Souls

Uncertainty

Touya was beginning to get irked by the constant yo-yoing with Shigaraki.
He hadn't even addressed the complete cockblocking he'd subjected Touya to, simply just kept trying to corner him when the others weren't around, fishing for a kiss, and despite Touya's attempts to try and seem cool and collected, he adored the attention.
So he allowed the smaller, pale haired man to get away without explaining why he shoved him off the other day, only to continue to try kissing him again the day after.

This time, Touya was keeping his hands to himself, not pushing any boundaries. Not that he knew there were any in the first place. After all, who leads someone to their room in the middle of the night if it's not for a hook-up?
And sure, he was still horrendously frustrated when Shigaraki would leave his room in the middle of the night after yet another makeout session with no wandering hands, but it was something to distract the mind and feed the ego, at least.

And after Star's admittance of being concerned about his relationship with Shigaraki, and what it would mean for her, Touya was almost a little thankful that Shigaraki was being a prude about it.
Because he knew once the band-aid was off, and once he'd experienced sex with someone that wasn't purely transactional, a job that had to be done in exchange for something he wanted or needed, he would not be letting it go.

And really, he'd never thought too much of it being a serious thing, just seeing it as him and the boss using one another to let off some steam.
Until he'd stood up for Star when that dumbass blonde hulk of a man had called her fat. That had set off something in Touya that he hadn't known existed.
Jin had actually lunged for the prick that called himself Muscular, and Touya didn't feel a damn thing about that other than gratefulness because he'd have loved to smack him himself had he not been carrying Star at the time.
But hearing that Shigaraki had raised his voice at Imasuji, a rare occurrence when Shigaraki didn't need to raise his voice to be scary, that had stirred a sense of admiration and, dare he say, hope.

Hope that maybe despite everything, despite his scars, his mental state, and their places in the world as it stands right now, Touya may be able to uphold some kind of normalcy by having a relationship.

He tried not to hold too tightly to that though.
Realistically, he knew it wasn't possible. Their lives were far from normal, Shigaraki was far from normal, he was far from normal.
And people like them didn't get happy endings. Hell, he didn't even get a happy beginning. And judging solely from the creepy disembodied hand that Shigaraki insisted on wearing as a mask that he so lovingly named 'Father', Touya kind of assumed he wasn't the only one with a miserable upbringing and daddy issues.

And Touya, after a night of having to soothe Star because he couldn't think before he fucking spoke, was far from having Shigaraki on his mind when he'd made his way downstairs to grab a much needed drink.
In fact, his mind was very much on the fact that Shigaraki had entrusted a whole squad to him, with the goal of grabbing a couple potential UA students that could be swayed towards Shigaraki's side, and he still hadn't fucking slept yet.
He was busy mentally berating himself for being an idiot, as well as worrying about Star and worrying about being able to hold up to the expectations laid upon him for the mission tomorrow. A cigarette dangling between his lips, and his hands working on pouring himself some of the good whiskey that Shigaraki usually kept for himself, he doesn't hear Shigaraki come downstairs or approach him.

It's only when he turns around, glass in one hand and cigarette in the other, that he sees Shigaraki staring coldly back at him like a phantom in the night.
He almost spills his drink in surprise. Touya wasn't a fan of being snuck up on any more than he was a fan of raised voices and sudden loud noises.

"Shit, boss!" Touya hisses, trying to collect himself.

"She was crying again." Shigaraki states, and the look on his face tells Touya everything he needs to know about the conversation that he wanted to have.