Nang mataningan ang buhay ng mag-asawang umampon kay Lily Jane Salvador, nanganganib na itong mapatalsik sa pamilya nila. Para patuloy siyang kupkupin sa pamilya Salvador, isa lang ang hinihingi ng kanyang Lolo: Ang makagawa si LJ ng isang obra maes...
Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
Slight R-18
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Watch me, I said.
I uttered those words with full confidence but here I am, having an existential crisis.
Buong buhay ko, sinubukan ko namang sumulat ng kahit ano. Pero unless nangyari sa'kin ang isang bagay, hindi ko magawang ma-imagine ang lahat.
One time, pinagsulat kami ng drama para sa school based on real life. Wala akong alam syempre. And so, I wrote about my life in the orphanage.
Let's just say, the school was concerned that a twelve-year-old kid wrote about abuse in great detail, almost gore.
Since then, natakot na sila sa mga isusulat ko. I think nasabihan pa ako noon na talagang manika lang ang kaya kong gawin. And, sumuko na lang din ako. It's just not for me unlike doll-making. It's not my life.
Making dolls–it's like breathing, it's a part of me. Writing something out of my imagination is like drowning. The orphanage killed that part of my brain where I can imagine something. Kasi, kapag nasa ampunan ka, we were always taught to keep our expectations low. Because imagining a life for yourself is just a torture.
So eventually, I can't imagine things anymore unless it's real-life.
Now, pa'no na ako magsusulat nito?
"Why are you frowning?"
I blinked, getting back to my senses when I heard Ali's voice. Nilingon ko siya at nakita ang kunot niyang noo habang nakatingin sa akin. He's stopped setting up his camera to watch me.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Hmm?"
"Kanina ka pa nakasimangot."
Napangiti ako sa pag-aalalang dumaan sa mata niya. "Just my grandparents again," sagot ko. "Wala ng bago."
Tumango siya at bumalik sa pag-aayos sa camera niya. Ako naman ay nabalik sa pag-aayos ng aking damit at ng buhok ko sa harap ng salamin.
