Chapter 8

73 3 1

by Urmom420691927

by Urmom420691927

[I've decided Larry won't find out for a while and that this chapter will mostly be then hanging out but Shrig gets angsty once he leaves]
Shrignold pov
'My mom has chilled out since our last encounter, but she keeps making comments every time she sees me.' I wrote in my diary, before hiding it beneath a loose floorboard and leaving for school
"Fat fucking fag" my mom said to me as I was leaving
I don't show my hurt because that will lead her being more agressive, so I just leave for school.
Everyone at school knows I'm gay from jack by now. They won't staring at me and whispering behind my back. It gives me a lot of anxiety. I heard one of the guys say that they are going to jump me with some others. I know I'm not safe here but if I don't go to school I won't be safe at my house either
I arrived to math class and sat in the back to avoid attention. All we were doing was a lesson and luckily I didn't get called on, the next 2 periods went about the same way thankfully.
I was making my way to my 4th period but went to use the bathroom first. I was washing my hands when I heard some people enter
To my horror it was the guy and his friends that said they were going to jump me. I was hoping it was an empty threat but when I went to leave I knew it wasn't
"Hey fag, come here" he said calmly
"O-ok" I stuttered
I walked over to where he wanted me to stand. And then he slammed me into the sink. A chunk of the sink broke off when my face hit it, I fell to the ground, my head gushing blood when they started kicking me
My head hurt so much it felt like I could barely breathe, since I was in so much pain, their kicks didn't feel like much thankfully.
They finally left after a while and I tried to stand but couldn't. I was in too much pain to do much of anything. After a while of contemplating, I stood up, my legs wobbling as I gained balance. I put pressure on the wound on my head and waited for the bleeding to stop. When it did after 20 minutes I looked at it and I had a huge cut around my hairline.
My legs and arms were bleeding and starting to bruise so I just decided to walk home to clean them.
I felt so light headed every step I took. I moved my hair to cover the cut so no one would notice.
I had tripped a few times on the way home and it took a lot to regain my balance. All I could do was pray that my mom was passed out. If she wasn't I'm not sure what would happen to me
   To my relief she was asleep on the couch. I snuck up the stairs and went into the bathroom, addressing the smaller cuts first before moving to my head. It was still oozing blood a bit, but we don't have the money for stitches so I just cleaned and bandaged it as well as I could before leaving.
I made it to my room and barely into my bed before I passed out from exhaustion and blood loss
________________________________
"Wakey wakey" someone said
It didn't sound like Tony and Collin, maybe they finally gave up on me... I thought to myself
I opened my eyes to find it was actually Larry!
"Oh hey Larry! What time is it?" I asked
"Around 9, Tony didn't feel like waking you" he said
"Oh I see, do you wanna hang out today?" I asked happily
"Yea sure! I've got nothing better to do" he said nonchalantly
"Give me like 10 minutes to get ready, ok" I said
"Alright" he said, closing the door behind him
I had a huge headache today, I went to look in the mirror and moved my hair, seeing the massive scar next to my hairline.
   I signed and got dressed and brushed my teeth and hair before opening the door, to find Tony waiting in the living room.
"Alright what do you wanna do?" I asked him
"I have an idea, follow me!" He said before rushing out the door
We walked for about 20 minutes before heading into a forest. It looked familiar, but it was probably nothing. I kept asking where he was going but he kept saying "you'll see" excitedly
The further we went the more I felt like I knew this place, it was setting an eery feeling into my stomach. I tried my best to ignore it.
We were walking for about 2 hours before I saw the tree. Memories instantly came flooding back. This is where I told Jack. Where everything went wrong
I was panicking inside but made sure to keep my exterior looking happy
"This is it!" He exclaimed happily
I tried my best to pretend to be clueless, and was still curious if Jack still lived nearby, I'll have to find out later.
"What is this place?" I asked him
"I stumbled across it a few months ago and it's just so serene I figured we could hangout here instead of the house" he suggested
"Yea I'm down" I said
We started talking about anything. Books, decor styles, clothing style, really anything you can think of
"Hey Shrig, can I ask you something?" He asked
"Yea sure" I replied
"If your homophobic, why do u hang out with me?" He asked
"Umm- If I'm being completely honest, I'm not that homophobic, it's just- Malcom says it's wrong so it has to be wrong" I said
"Malcom doesn't control you though, you can have your own opinions" he stated
"No I can't" I whispered under my breath
   "Yea I guess your right" I said
"I think we should head back, it's getting dark" Larry said
"Yea probably!" I said happily
We walked mostly in silence on the way back, admiring the sunset. I decided I would sneak out tonight and try to see if Jack still lived there.
   Before I knew it we were back at the house, we said goodnight and went to our separate rooms. I waited an hour before deciding to leave.
   I quietly closed the door behind me and started retracing my steps to the spot. From there I knew exactly where he lived.
I wasn't actually going to knock on the door just see what his house looked like
   "Shrig?" A voice said, stopping me in my tracks.
   I turned around to see Jack standing there.
"Yea" I responded
"What are you doing?" He asked
"I just wanted to visit our old spot" I replied
"Can I talk to you?" He asked
"Um sure I guess" I responded
We sat down in the grass and he started telling me he was sorry for telling everyone
   "I was dealing with a lot, I'm sorry I called you that" he said solemnly
   "It's quit alright, you were correct after all, being gay is bad" I replied quickly
"It's not though, it's fine if you are" he said trying to grab my arm
   "No it's not" I said pulling away my arm
"I have a question for you" I said
"Ask away" he replied
"Would you like to join a love cult?" I asked
   "Not in particular" he said slightly weirded out
"Ok, how has your life been since we last spoke?" I asked
"Pretty good, I found a girlfriend we settled down in my childhood home and now she's my wife and we have a kid!" He said
"Woah that sounds amazing! Im so glad you found your special someone" I said
   "Anyways I must be going now! See you around, I guess"
   "Ok bye Shrig!" He yelled as I left
   I made it back to the house and slowly opened and closed the door and crept to my room.
Once I closed my door I started crying, I'm not sure why I'm crying? He's happy why am I sad? Am I really that jealous that I don't want him happy?
What's wrong with you? You're a monster why would anyone ever be sad because someone else is happy!? This is why no one will ever love you. This is why Malcom has said that your incapable of having a special one.
   I opened my drawer to find my pocket knife. I flicked it open and dragged it across my wrist
   'This is what you deserve' I started thinking as I kept dragging the blade. I kept wincing at the pain, it made me feel weak.
I kept doing this until I stopped flinching. Feeling satisfied I got the bandages out of my other drawer I had stashed in there yesterday.
I laid down to sleep as it was starting to get super late.

(Time lapse???)
The next 2 weeks we did the same thing every single day. Larry woke me up, we'd go to the spot, go home, I'd cry, then I'd sleep. Hanging out with Larry was the best part of my day. He's so cool! And fun and nice and cute- NO stop you can't be thinking that. He's an amazing friend. Today we have to break the cycle since I have to go to a meeting.
I've been dreading it since I haven't recruited anyone and knew what was going to happen. I said bye to Larry and walked out the door, begining the dreadful walk there.
   I had so many thoughts swarming my head as I made my way inside and too my seat. As always Malcolm walked to his seat and started calling peoples names to find out many they recruited
   "Shrignold?" He asked
   "0" I said
"Come see me after"
He then continued on, I knew what would happen and my heart was booming. He finished up the meeting about 2 hours later. Once everyone left I made my way to him
"Once again, no members... what a dissapointment" he said
"Yea" I said back emotionless
"Go in the room" he said as he pointed toward the door
   I started walking over before he opened the door and kicked me inside. I could feel the tears on the verge of coming out
I backed into a corner and hugged myself before sitting down trying to calm down
Before I knew it the doors opened and instead of 2 members there was 4.
One of them said "you know the drill"
   I didn't even try to bargain with them, I just let it happen, feeling like I was dying inside.
   It hurt so much but I couldn't give them the satisfaction of it. I thought I could go the whole time without making noise, until one brought out a whip. My eyes widened in fear.
"Finally got a reaction out of him!" The one with the whip cackles before hitting me with it
I screamed out in pain. As he kept hitting me. The other 3 seemed to enjoy my pain and kept going at it.
I think it was 3 hours when they finally stopped and left the room satisfied. Once more someone opened the door and told me to leave. I gathered my composure and left. My lower half hurt even more than last time.
I made sure to stop at the gas station restroom again to make myself look presentable since it was only 7, the others were still awake. I looked at where I'd been hit with the whip, they already looked like they were going to leave scars
   I sighed in disappointment, I already have so many scars. I took another look at my body before I left and decided I needed to eat less.
I left without buying anything making an employee scowl at me. I either need to buy something next time or find somewhere new.
   I walked up to the door and put on a happy face and opened true door.
"Hey Shrig!" Larry yelled from the living room
"Come join us we're playing phase 10!" He yelled out again
"Alright be there in a sec!" I shouted as I walked over
   They dealed me in and I beat everyone by 5 phases, everyone said it was luck. But they don't know I've found the perfect strategy to win every game
   "Alright I'm heading to bed" Tony said
   "Me too!" Collin followed him
   "I'm pretty tired I guess I'll go sleep too" Larry said
   "Well Shrig is boring so ig Ill sleep too" Paige retorted
   I guess that means I'm on my own now. I head up to my room shut the door behind me. I don't even have the energy to cry tonight. But I still had so much pain inside me. I pull out my knife and do a cut seeing if that helps.
   It did, so I guess this is what I'll do instead of crying like a fucking baby. Once again I bandaged them up. the old cuts are starting to scar I noticed. I go lay in my bed a fall asleep pretty quickly.

Word count: 2278

[this chapter took so long to write omfg😭. Also if it wasn't clear, Shrig always wear a jacket/hoodie/long sleeve so no one can see the scars. I'm really tired but I also really want to write another chapter so there might be one more coming out later tonight! Hope you all are having a good day, enjoy reading my book!]