Chapter 14

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by Urmom420691927

by Urmom420691927

Shrignold pov
"Wakey wakeyyyy" Tony said over me
"Alright I'm awake, you can leave now" I said annoyed, since I didn't get much sleep
I got out of bed and went over to my mirror, I looked at myself, before moving my hair out of the way to examine what Malcom had done
The stitches looked to be done very properly and I assumed they would fall out when it healed enough. I sighed, fixing my hair back into position before changing
I put my earrings in and then left to go ask Larry if he wanted to go to our spot, before I remembered the cult knew that was our spot so we'd have to find somewhere different
"Hey Larry, wanna go to our spot?" I asked him, still coming down the stairs
"Yea sure, let me just finish my bagel real quick" he told me
He ate the next half in one bite before sliding his shoes on and leaving out the door with me
"Hey, so the cult knows about our spot so, we should probably find somewhere else" I told him
"Did they find out- you know, that your gay?" He asked concerned
"No, they just asked why we go there so often so I figured we should probably go somewhere else" I lied
"Yea no problem! What if we keep going for another half hour or so then enter the woods?" He asked
"Yea that sounds great, thanks" I replied
We did exactly as we had planned and walked further out than normal, before going into the woods to find somewhere
"We'll need to head back earlier since we haven't memorized the route yet, and we'll still need to see" I told him
"Ok, yea no problem" he responded before leaning in closer to me then kissing me
I kissed him back, but i felt grossed out by it, I knew it was Larry, but I just couldn't get ben out of my head
"S-sorry I just can't right now" I said, pulling away
"Oh, I'm sorry, I just figured-" he responded
"N-no I did, I just.... Can't" I said solemnly
"Are you ok?" Larry asked
"Y-yea I-I'm fine" I stuttered, tears threatening to spill from my eyes
"You don't sound fine, are you sure?" Larry asked, more concerned then last time
I finally broke and started crying, Larry tried to help but I told him to stay away. I took deep breaths and started to calm down, I was still crying but I could talk now
"I-I'm sorry" I said
"You have nothing to be sorry for, if you don't mind me asking, what was that about?" He asked
"I d-don't think I'm ready to tell you yet" I told him
"I completely understand, if you ever change your mind, I'm always available" he told me
"T-thanks" I said, my tears stopping
"So, what would you like to do?" He asked
"Can we cuddle for a bit?" I asked him
"Yea sure!" He replied as I went and layed next to him
It was comforting and for the first time in a while I felt safe. We just started cloud gazing and pointed out what shapes we thought everything was. And before we knew it, it was time to start heading back
The walk was fairly silent, but once we got inside the house we noticed everyone was sat down for dinner
We took our spots and sat down, before we even realized there was no food.
"Umm, where's the food?" Larry asked
"Steve ordered pizza!" Paige said excitedly
"Wait actually?! We haven't eaten anything other than white sauce for months now" Larry said back
"Yea I know it's amazing!" Paige responded
The doorbell rang and Fred went to pay the deliver man before giving us all our pizza
I didn't eat any pizza, I was starving sure, but the last thing I need is more food. I put my plate in the dishwasher and went up to my room
'Why did I break down like that' 'what's wrong with me?' Why am I such an attention seeker' 'why can I not do anything right?' 'Larry probably hates me now' 'why am I such a disappointment' I thought to myself as I sat on the floor
I felt my heart rate quicken and so did my breathing, I had a million thoughts running through my head, too many to focus on anything in my room, too many to notice the tears rolling down my face, too many to notice my door open
"Hey shri- woah are you okay??" Collin asked concerned
I could barely shake my head no, I was freaking out too much
"Ok, um, just breathe in and out, if you can't do that think of 5 things you can see"
I tried breathing before moving onto 5 things I could see
"4 things you can hear"Collin told me
"3 things you can feel" Collin said
I nodded once I had completed the task
"2 things you can smell, and one person near you" Collin told me
I had managed to slow down my breathing, but I was still crying.
"Are you ok??" Collin asked, seeing my breathing had slowed
"Y-yea, thanks for h-helping" I responded
"What triggered your panic attack?" Collin asked
I stayed silent. I didn't want anyone to know, at least not right now
"It's ok, you don't have to tell me, I'm going to leave now, is that ok?" He asked
"Yea it's fine, just don't tell anyone please?" I asked back
"Of course, I would never invade your privacy like that" he told me
"Thanks, I said as he was leaving
Why am I like this? I asked myself whilst looking in the mirror. I stepped back and crumpled onto my bed, I really don't have the energy anymore.
I think I'm going to ask Larry if we can go to a shop or something instead of the woods, I think I need a change of scenery.
I'll do it tomorrow morning, after I wake up. I don't even know what time it is, but I'm gonna go to sleep, todays been a long day, and I don't want to make it any longer
I closed my eyes as I slowly drifted off to sleep, hoping I once more wouldn't have bad dreams, and luckily I didn't.

Word count:

[sorry for the shorter chapter! I'll try to make the next one linger, but there's a good chance it'll be around the same length as this one. I hope you have a good rest of your day!]