Wait... Together?

Chapter 15

I find a comfy log deep in the woods and take a seat, kicking some sticks while I stare at the ground. The logical part of my brain knows that Henry's friends weren't accusing me, but the panicked, anxiety-filled part is telling me that they know everything. They know about my weird situation with Henry and my scary-ass feelings.

I know it shouldn't matter that they know, but it does. It terrifies me. I've heard the stories of what happens when people come out at high school, and knowing my football team things won't be much different for me. Sure, Drew could probably take anyone in a fight, and I don't think anyone would take that chance to begin with, but it wouldn't change the fact that they'll see me differently. Even worse, they'll be uncomfortable with me around them.

My sister made me watch Love, Victor with her. That same thing is gonna happen to me, I just know it. Although they've never been outwardly homophobic to the openly queer kids at school, I'm afraid things will be different when it comes to someone on the team, someone who changes with them. Just because I know I would never look at them like that doesn't mean they know it.

Coach has never talked with us about how he feels about gay kids on the team, which means he's probably uncomfortable with it too. If the guys told him they didn't want to change with me I'm sure he would kick me out in an instant. I can already imagine how the conversation would go.

"Hey, Ethan. I want to talk to you before practice starts."

He'd be waiting at the door for me instead of in his office like he usually does, trying his hardest to stop me from perving on the other guys.

"Yeah, Coach. What's up?"

Of course, I would already know what the conversation was leading to, but I wanted to try everything in my power to show him that I was still the regular old me.

"Some of the guys on the team have informed me of some rumors going around about you and that basketball boy. They've expressed their discomfort with having you on the team. You know I care for you, but I can't have someone on the team that will distract the others. I'm sure you understand."

And then he'd walk away without giving me the chance to object. It would feel like a stab to my gut like my own father was leaving me. Even if I tried to change his mind, he's stubborn as a mule and stuck in his ways. He's not open to suggestions very often, and he definitely won't be in this case. The whole would be backing his ideas up. What I say wouldn't matter whatsoever compared to all of them.

I'm suddenly shaken out of my thoughts by a familiar voice. "Ethan?" I look up only to be met with those mesmerizing green eyes. I quickly shift my gaze back to the ground, not wanting Henry to see me in my current state. "I'm sorry, Ethan. My friends were being assholes. Are you okay?"

He took my silence as a chance to sit next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to him. I melt into his touch, leaning my head on his left shoulder. "I'm okay," Are the two words I finally manage to mumble out.

"What are you thinking about?" I sigh, knowing he won't like my answer if I'm honest with him.

"Just..." I pause, thinking of something that won't be too uncomfortable to talk about. "Just life, I guess." He hums and nods his head, staring at the trees in front of us, eventually leaning his head down to rest on mine.

We sat like that for a couple of minutes, my head leaning on his shoulder and his head leaning on my head, his arm still wrapped protectively around my waist and rubbing gentle circles on my thigh.

"They didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know. They're just really nosy people when it comes to my social life. I'm sorry about them, though. I've been trying to break through to them about my boundaries but they don't seem to get it. I already had a conversation with the guys leading it and they're really sorry too." My mouth curls into a soft smile at his sincerity.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you, I just kinda freaked out, I guess. I don't think I'm ready for everyone to know about my sexuality yet. I have told a few people. Drew knows. So does my sister and one of my cousins, but those are the only people I've told."

"That's okay, E. You don't need to tell anyone until you're ready to." He lifts his head to look down at me and I do the same. "You know I'm proud of you. It took me so long to tell anyone about my being gay. It's kind of a big deal that you've only known for a few days and have already shared this with three people. I know how scary it can be."

His eyes stare directly into mine, something that would typically make me nervous, but with Henry, it draws me in closer. I glance down at his lips subconsciously. His perfectly kissable lips. Without thinking, I lean in, close enough for my lips to graze his, but not close enough to count as an actual kiss. I watch him lean back slightly and his eyes dance around my face, looking for something.

When he doesn't find what he's looking for, he leans back in, pressing his lips to mine, softly and slowly. It's gentle and controlled, but filled with emotion and longing. His hand reaches for my hair and gently brushes through it soothingly. My hands grab his waist, pulling myself onto his lap in an effort to get as close as possible to him. Our lips move together slowly, and I'm sure he can feel every emotion I'm feeling with each shift of my lips.

Suddenly I realize I've lost my breath, and I pull away gasping for air. My head falls forward, resting gently on his shoulder while a smile creeps onto my lips. His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer into a tight hug. "That was my first kiss," I muttered into his shoulder.

"Oh yeah? Was it worth it?"

I don't even have to think about my answer when I say, "Definitely." He chuckles and we sit in that position, neither of us saying anything.

"Henry?" I finally say, lifting my head to look into his eyes.

"Yes, Angel?" I smile at his use of pet names, blushing like I usually do, but I don't look away this time.

"I think I'm ready for a relationship now. If you still want me, that is." His mouth curls into a grin. The kind I've noticed only appears on his face when he's genuinely happy. The kind where his eyes crinkle in the corners and squint so tight I can barely see his irises. The kind where his forehead wrinkles slightly and both of his perfectly placed dimples show.

Five simple words creep out of his mouth easily, filling me with a happiness that feels so big that it'll never end, and I don't think I want it to.

"I'll always want you, Love."

a/n

sorry this is late, my computer broke down and school just started up. also i wrote a version of this from henry's pov but changed my mind and redid the whole thing. i just think a random pov change in the middle of the story kind of takes away from the experience so i wanted to keep that.

also, this is not the last chapter. idk if the ending gives off that vibe but i still have a few more plans for my two babies so we'll see how it goes. i am kind of swamped with dance atm though so it might be a bit until the next chapter is out. just bare with me please.