Twisted Love

ten

ALEX RECORDED everything that happened here, ensnaring me in an enmeshment so badly that now even if I decline thousands of times, I cannot make it out of this mess. Even if I make it out, I know he will drag me back while chasing me like a snake everywhere.

A helpless sob escaped my mouth as my breath clogged my throat.

Why?

Why all of this happening?

Why....

Before I could finish another 'why' sentence in my head, a ring rang in my head making me realise I never asked Alex why it has to be me.

Oh my god!

I never asked him the real question.

My mental health has been messing with me since I was a kid. I never understand or understood some particular and certain situations and that's always created a weak point in me. Suffering from depression and anxiety since very young and pretending to be strong and normal, isn't a joke. I needed to trim my behaviour and emotions everyday so that the world could treat me in a way, the way I deserve.

No matter what I say or elucid but I will be called the real fool in this game. I know by now, apparently he is titling me with the 'Fool' tag. My heart convulses in mortification as my bones ache in discomfort, when I thought of Alex's assumption on me. I never asked him why it has to be me and that's the dumbest thing I have ever done since this mess commenced.

Slapping him wasn't even near this one.

A chill ran down to my spine when Alex wasn't moving away from me. He was still standing behind me and my back was practically touching his chest.

"Tell me one thing, Alex Vesper." I murmured looking at him over my shoulder.

"Why me?" I added, with a stern tone as I clenched my jaw so hard, for a moment I thought I was gonna break my jawbone. I quickly turned around to see his reaction, drawing a respectable distance between us. I couldn't anticipate the counterreaction he gave me. I thought he would look at me in an enervated look, shutting me down without even moving his lips.

But he seems caught up in the moment and lost.

The feature that he curved to scare me and convince me of this act, wasn't there anymore. I saw him gulping down and then he averted his eyes away from me. His hands were in fist, turning his knuckles white, disinterring one thing, he is trying to control his unstoppable sentiments that are vague to me.

"Please, tell me why?" I begged sobbing softly, making him snap his head at me in an untraceable disposition and uncertainty. It felt like he was melting while seeing me vulnerable.

The thought sent a cold shiver down to my spine.

Stop this daydream.

"I have the right to know." I insisted on my words reasoning, staring at his green eyes with crestfallen over my face. He opened his mouth to say something but then nothing came up, leaving me disappointed. My heart clenched when he wouldn't speak. My frustration level was rising making me want to jump from this floor and grace my life with death. It wanted to make me rip my own hair and hit something with a hammer until I was exhausted to my death.

"Please, I need to know. Why are you doing this to me? I don't match with your standard nor am I from an aristocratic family. I am not near your type of woman. Please, Mr. Vesper, tell me why?" My strength has been sucked by the previous encounter. I couldn't glare or scream at him anymore.

I am tired.

I am really tired.

With watering eyes, I stared at him for answers and he kept staring at me back, not uttering a word. Silence is powerful and that can turn a sane man into an insane one. I am already broken and emotionally bruised and his unwanted silence is making me more insane.