Twisted Love

twenty-five

Alex Vesper

BROWN EYES

Long hair.

Fuck me lips.

That's all that was buzzing in my head. The only thing I taught myself is how to control my pathetic sentiments that generate the urge to take a step that will ruin everything for me. I sharpened my edges, giving my life a shape that nothing can break down, unless It's myself.

But now I was crumbling. It was a mere crack but now I am ripped open.

It's all because an innocent soul peeks through that small crack that her existence created.

The night left a stain of shame on me. A scar of craziness and madness. It left me hungry, thirsty, desperate and lost. I lost track of my rituals. I forgot the time that I am used to. I was floating in a haze of something so fucking confusing that I can't even put a name on it. But in a certain way, there is a name that rings in my head all the time.

Anastasia Mason.

It has been two days, since I saw her for the last time. I fucked up for real. I knew I shouldn't have done that but guess what I don't give a fuck. I did what I had to. She was upset for sure when I pulled the stun on her by asking if she had feelings for that dickhead called Ian. She seems hurt for some reason when we had our little argument over a man I met for the first time.

I claimed her as mine. I saw thousands of questions maiming her as she struggled to collect herself. This where I fucked.

This is where I couldn't search for anything in my mind to grace her with a voice. I promised myself a long time ago, that I won't rush on my feet to gain what I want. But, my own goal put me on edge. She unleashed a monster that I didn't even know existed. I need to walk on thin ice when she is around. I don't want to lose my control but eventually that's what I do.

Always.

Now I don't know what she was thinking.

I left her hanging there, not even sparing her a glance. She was quiet and I didn't even hear her soft sighing or breathing. My heart clenched when her innocent eyes flashed in my vision. The fear that clutched her emotions as her soft lips parted in disbelief.

I know what she was thinking when I lost my control and when I left her as if I didn't just confess my downtrodden emotions.

I don't know what was stopping me from calling her and telling good luck for her first day at her office. I tried hundreds of times to turn blind to the fact that she was working for that psycho Morenic. It's not like he has the time to dig out her information and see who she was with or not. She is just a mere employee for him. And he might not even glance at her unless he wants something from her.

But the itching won't go away. It has been eating me up inside thinking, she is there, under Evan's command, while working for him. Thinking about his mere gaze on her was boiling my blood with anger while raising my temper.

Evan is not a fool. He knows his boundaries. Even if he finds out about me and Ana, he can't do anything.

And I might give her a lot of reasons to hate me but that doesn't mean I will snatch her dream job from her. I don't stoop that low. I can't see her hurt again.