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24

{some incorrect quotes, just to be funny. different format than usual.}

y/n: wait, are you flirting with me right now?
dream: i have been since we first met, but thanks for noticing.
——
wilbur: you have to learn to love yourself.
y/n: don't you hate yourself?
wilbur: yes but this is about you, stay focused.
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karl: the magic school bus could be in your ass right now and you wouldn't even know-
y/n: please stop and go to bed love.
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tommy: stand back, i'm going to kick the door down.
y/n: YOU stand back and i'll kick the door down.
tommy: oh, i didn't mean it like a guy/girl thing...
tommy: i just really wanted to kicked the door down.
——
y/n: do you think your family likes me?
wilbur: my mum literally begged you to marry me.
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george: what the fuck are you doing on your phone?
y/n: what the fuck are you doing with that haircut?
george: ...
george: okay *walks away*
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karl, holding the door open for sapnap: after you.
sapnap: no, after you.
karl: i insist, after you.
y/n, pushing past both of them: after me.
——
y/n: we did it! we won!
*behind y/n, dream slowly stands back up*
tommy:
wilbur:
tubbo, starting to point: y-y/n...
y/n: no. we won. i'm not turning around and looking at him. we won.
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ranboo: i've never been in a snowball fight before.
tubbo: really?
ranboo: i don't even know the rules. is there like a point system or is it to the death?
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aimsey: yesterday i yote my water bottle down the hallway.
y/n: did you just use yeet in past tense?
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wilbur, looking into the first aid kit: why the fuck did you fill this with cheetos?!
y/n, bleeding out: i thought it would be funny at the time!
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y/n: what is your problem? does seeing me fail make you feel better about your sad, single life?
sapnap: it actually does, yes.
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niki: hey, i saw on the news that some idiot fought a squid at the aquarium.
y/n, covered in ink: maybe the squid was being a dick.
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aimsey, can you two grab a table while i park the car.
billzo and y/n: ok.
*15 minutes later *
billzo & y/n, running out the restaurant, with a table: START THE FUCKING CAR!!
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techno: we need a distraction. are any of you guys good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?
tommy & y/n: our time has come.
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sapnap: we're so in sync we finish each other's...
y/n, not paying attention: ...
sapnap: Sssss
y/n: SSSSSOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME-
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y/n, wearing a slightly litter shade of black.
george: i see you busted out the spring colors.
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billzo: AIMSEY! COME OUT! WE HAVE TO GO!
aimsey: IM LESBIAN!
billzo: NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT I STILL SUPPORT YOU!
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tommy: ten years ago, i married my best friend...
tommy: y/n wasn't too happy, but tubbo and i think it's funny.
——
wilbur, on the phone: hey phil, can i borrow 6000 bucks.
phil: why the hell do you need 6000 bucks?
wilbur: for an escape room.
phil: what kind of escape room?
wilbur: ...
wilbur: jail.
——
y/n: so what's the problem?
niki: he's using common phrases incorrectly.
fundy: oh cry me a table.
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techno: don't worry, i have a few knives up my sleeves.
tubbo: don't you mean tricks?
y/n: no, he did not.
techno, pulling out knives: i did not.
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y/n: would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
tommy: you stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big ass house.
tubbo: you can stab me in the leg, that way we'd have 20 million.
tommy: good thinking.
——
y/n: i got you a new bath bomb.
c!dream: ...this is a toaster.
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sapnap: how do they know it looks like that without cutting into it? (it being steak)
punz: ...the temperature.
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dream: BJ'S!
george: the restaurant or the actual thing?
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niki: i'll be crying saltwater for days.
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y/n: i have issues...
punz: ...i know
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karl: i almost didn't recognize you.
sapnap: why?
karl: you're wearing bright colors.
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tommy: turns out my life is a long series of events where i make myself look stupid.
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y/n: can i go sit on the roof?
purpled: no because you're dumb ass will fall off.
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y/n: my hairs so soft.
niki: i know, i like it.
y/n: thank you, i grew it myself.
niki, laughing: i hate you.
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tubbo: uh oh my dyslexia is showing.
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tommy: we're about to get murdered!
wilbur: yeah i know, let me fucking sleep loser. i don't wanna be awake for that shit.
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karl: the snack cake golden child
y/n: karl, you're a snack cake
karl: you're focused on snack cake, I'm focused on the usage of golden child
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y/n: the shape-
ranboo: it kinda looks like my grandmother...
y/n: this looks like you grandmother?!
ranboo: i'm just as concerned as you are.
y/n: is that a problem for the honey buns or your grandmother?
ranboo: it's hard to tell at this point.
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ted: who doesn't like eggos?
schlatt: racists!
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tommy: what even is a shopkins?
y/n: A BITCH COMPANY!!!!
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aimsey: What's the most amount of chapstick you ate in one sitting?
billzo: Like two or three tubes.
aimsey: You're saying at most you had 3 tubes consumed by you?!
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dream: Okay that sausage is on fire.
sapnap: I'll take it. I'll take it!
——
phil: Where's your Gucci shoes?
techno: I lit em fire cause I'm a fucking pyromaniac!
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niki: Alright who's cooking level was too low they burn the fucking pie man?
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ranboo: What are you mixing with?
y/n: Scissors.
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schlatt: We have a gun!
y/n: I'm afraid to use it.
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wilbur: Name something in the bedroom a wife might hit her sleeping husband with.
y/n: ...the truth?
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y/n: i'm dyslexic
george: and i thought you were lying
y/n: and that hurt my feelings, why would i lie about that? i wanna read normal!
——
y/n: tommy don't
tommy: tommy does.