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29

{little bit of a palette cleanser, more incorrect quotes/funny things. niki is so pretty, she's like a literal goddess.}

techno: philza advised me to think before i act.
techno: so if i smack the shit out of you, rest assured that i thought about it and am confident in my decision.
——
philza: i love you, kids. you're the best thing to ever happen to me.
wilbur: we're the best things that ever happened to you?
philza: yes.
tommy; now i'm starting to fill a little sorry for you.
——
dream: i left instructions for everyone while i'm gone.
sapnap: mine just says 'sapnap, no'
dream: i want you to apply that to any possible situation.
——
*on a nature hike*
james: it's beautiful out here.
wilbur: and quiet.
charlie: too quiet.
james: did we lose someone?
*cut to tommy and y/n trying to befriend a bear*
——
dream: if you do that again, i will throw you out of that window-
dream: *sighs*
dream: what are you doing?
tommy, actively looking out the window: i was checking how far the drop is to see if it's worth it.
——
y/n: are we fighting or flirting right now?
sapnap: i'm pining you against a wall with my sword on your neck!
y/n: ...
y/n: your point?
sapnap.exe has stopped working
——
george: god may forgive you being gay, but no one is going to forgive you for that haircut.
dream: ...
——
tommy, resting his head on y/n's shoulder: tell me i'm pretty!
y/n, lovingly stroking his hair: you're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
——
techno: y/n, don't do this
y/n: and how do you plan on stopping me?
techno: i'm going to call niki
y/n:
y/n, softly: you sick bastard
——
george, trying to be funny: i'm like tinker bell, if i don't get enough attention i'll die.
dream, natural born comedian: haha, more like twinkerbell
george:
george: now we have to either fight to the death or make out.
——
y/n: im bleeding out in the middle of Walmart like a hashtag girlboss
ranboo: what did you do
aimsey: WHAT
——
tommy: are you ready to commit?
y/n: like, a crime, suicide, or a relationship?
——
punz: can you cut me some slack, y/n? i'm sort of in love.
y/n: i'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
punz: i'm in love with you dumbass.
y/n,blushing: oh. that brings me in the loop a little.
——
y/n: since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. don't ask me why i have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
techno: fine, but when i come strutting in with your fuzzy socks i don't want to hear shit.
——
y/n: this was almost a great idea.
fundy: you just described 90% of our stuff.
——
y/n, skipping rocks on a lake with Techno: It's such a beautiful evening.
techno: yeah, it is.
techno,whispering to himself: take that you fucking lake.
——
jschlatt: i still have no idea how i'm attracted to you...
y/n: yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
——
tubbo: how much longer are we going to wait?
y/n, trying not to bust out laughing: just... give it a few more minutes.
ranboo: *continues to forcefully push at a door that says pull on it*
——
dream: i will hunt you to the ends of the earth!
y/n; i love you too!
——
aimsey: jail is no fun. i'll tell you that much.
billzo: oh, you've been?
aimsey: once. in monopoly.
——
karl: hey sapnap, i need some dating advice.
sapnap: just because i'm dating y/n, doesn't mean i know how i did it
——
dream: getting married is the most bravest, most wonderful thing you can do
dream:  you just come home and you're like "i love you! you're my sexy roommate! "
george, falling out of his chair: whoo! he's talking about me!
——
wilbur: i don't know who needs to hear this, but reading book after book to escape reality is not a-
y/n: you watch your fucking mouth.
——
philza: yesterday, i heard y/n ask "are you sure this a good idea? " and wilbur said "trust me"
philza: i have never move so quickly from one room to another.
——
billzo: i really don't think you should drink any more coffee today.
y:n: no. coffee cures depression.
billzo: i don't think that's how it works-
y/n: more espresso, less depresso.
aimsey: facts.
——
y/n: how often do you exercise, Pretty Boy?
george: 3 times.
y/n: a day? a week? a month?
george: look, i already gave you my answer.
——
aimsey: hey guys! So good to be here, i have so mu-
y/n: i literally saw you die! you're dead! how is this even happening-
aimsey: god wants gay people to win, so she sent me back!
——
y/n: Want to come over and watch an episode?
niki: an episode of what?
y/n: me
y/n: i'll be having the episode
——
karl: WHO ATE MY LEFTOVERS?! WHEN I FOUND THAT PUNK I'M GONNA-
y/n: it was me.
karl: give them some more. you haven't eat much have you?
——
foolish: Shit, we lost punz.
y/n: wait, i got this...
y/n: Y/N IS A PIECE OF SHIT! THEY ARE THE WORST PERSON EVER AND I HATE THEM!
punz, marching out of the crowd: BITCH WHAT-
karl, flying down from the sky: THE FUCK-
sapnap, stumbling out of a craft store: DID YOU-
dream, emerging from a sewer: JUST SAY?!?!
y/n: i have made a mistake.
——
philza: Is everyone here? wilbur, techno, kristin, dumb, dumber...
y/n: hey!
tommy: it's ok, i'll be dumber.
philza: i love how you recognised who i was talking about immediately.
——
wilbur: what is your biggest weakness?
techno: i can be uncooperative.
wilbur: okay, can you give me an example?
y/n: no.
——
karl: i'm incredibly fast at math.
sapnap: alright, what's 30x17?
karl: 47
sapnap: that's not even close.
karl: but it was fast.
——
dream: must be hard not being able to laugh
y/n: i do have a sense of humor you know
dream: i've never heard you laugh before
y/n: i've never heard you say anything funny
——
techno: i trust y/n.
philza: you think they know what they're doing?
techno: i wouldn't go that far.
——
niki: are you sure this is the right direction?
jack: certainly, i'm as sure as i am honest!
y/n: in that case, we're definitely lost.
——
niki: FOUR MONTHS!
jack: what is she talking about?
y/n: it's really not that big of a deal.
niki: YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS!
——
y/n: how do I install a new attractive and cute face?
fundy: you can't install software already on device.
y/n: you smooth mf.
——
y/n: how do you feel about children?
techno: uh, they're okay, i guess. i mean, if i saw one on the street i wouldn't throw a rock at them.
y/n: why would you throw a rock at a child.
techno: i just said i wouldn't.
——
punz: y/n is playing hard to get.
punz: little do they know, i'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
——
y/n, smiling at sapnap: how much did you spend on this date?
sapnap,shrugging: around $4000, but don't worry it's all on dream's credit cards
——
george: if it's a concussion, you have to keep them conscious, okay? ask them questions.
dream to y/n: what's seven times seven?
y/n: Stuff they know.
——
tommy: do you want to play 20 questions?
y/n: sure!
y/n: what's your favorite color?
tommy, laser fucking focused: triangle. do you love me?
——
*techno is leading a mission and is giving out orders*
wilbur: got it! and what are you gonna do?
techno: i'll be formulating a business plan and conducting market research.
wilbur: you're gonna spy on y/n.
techno: i'm gonna spy on y/n.
——
punz: all my shirts keep disappearing!
y/n, wearing punz's shirt: spooky.
——
niki: okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
y/n: AS ENEMIES?!
niki: ...
——
computer: please enter a password.
y/n: *types in techno*
computer: your password is too weak.
y/n: how fucking DARE YOU-
——
y/n, texting wilbur: *sends a voice message*
wilbur, texting back: i'm in a meeting right now, honey. is it urgent?
y/n: no, don't worry, just listen later 💖🌸🎀💝🩷🥰
- LATER -
wilbur: *Plays voice message*
y/n's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-
——
tommy: i know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.
——
karl, extremely disoriented after being knocked out: where are we?
sapnap: in trouble.
——
purpled, looking lovingly at y/n: they're barbie, i'm just Ken.
——
george: do you have a self-care routine?
y/n: "keep going, bitch," said to myself in different accents.
——
techno to tommy: if karma doesn't hit you, i fucking will.
——
aimsey: you know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? that's the sound that billzo's brain makes all the time.
——
y/n: but when all hope seemed lost, i had an epiphany!
y/n, earlier: i'm going to throw myself into the sea!
——
wilbur, offended: how did none of you hear what i just said?
charlie: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
y/n, totally not flustered: i got distracted halfway through
tommy: ignoring you was a conscious decision.
——
quackity: there's a message in my alphabet cereal!
karl: what does it say?
quackity: ooooooo
y/n: ...those are cheerios
——
ted: why are you on fire?
jschlatt: this is just how my day is going.
——
dream: good night george! i love you!
george: i love you more dream!
dream:
george:
dream: we love you too, sapnap
sapnap, sharing a room with them: thanks guys, i was honestly feeling a little left out
——
fundy: dude it's dark in here
y/n: don't worry man i got this
y/n: *stomps their feet, skechers light up*
——
y/n's instagram: *a picture of billzo*
y/n: my boyfriend. thoughts?
ranboo: and prayers 🙏
——
y/n: i wasn't that drunk
niki: you coloured my face with a highlighter because you said i was important
y:n: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
——
y/n: you know what your problem is? You're really cute so no one ever tells you to shut the fuck up
wilbur:
y/n:
wilbur:
y/n:
wilbur: you think i'm cute?
y/n: shut the fuck up
——
tubbo, depressed on the floor: i just feel like a noodle
y/n, joining them on the floor and hugging them: oh good, i like pasta
——
everyone in the smp: we put a little note in your bag to tell you how much we appreciate you.
y/n, opening their bag: this is a 10 page letter!
——
y/n: i said that if i didn't become a star by 18 i was just going to become a ghostbuster
ghostbur: ... well girl how old are you i'm getting nervous
——
tommy: make no mistake; not only am i party rocking, i am also in the house tonight.
tubbo: but are you shuffling?
tommy: everyday
wilbur: what language are you speaking??
——
y/n: i feel like one day the others are just going to secretly plan our wedding without our say and they're just gonna send us invitation when they have it all set up.
wilbur: we're not even engaged?
y/n: and you think that's gonna stop them?
——
y/n, sighing: i've never had a real friend before
karl: i can be your friend
y/n:
karl:
y/n: i've also never had a boyfriend
——
punz, trying to fix something: could you give me a hand?
y/n: Sure.
y/n: *grabs punz's hand and holds it*
punz: you're cute but that's not what i meant.
——
c!tommy: no my trauma didn't make me "stronger"
c!tommy, into his glass of sparkling grape juice: made me funny as hell though
——
tommy: you know that voice in your head that tells you you're doing something kinda wrong?
tubbo: you mean the one that sounds like philza?
——
sapnap: i'm so happy i could kiss you!
y/n: Uh...neat.
[Later]
y/n, lying face down on their bed: i said "neat," george. who the fuck says neat these days? it's not neat to say neat, but i said it anyway because i'm fucking stupid.
george, idly reading a book: don't beat yourself up too much, y/n. everyone gets nervous sometimes. remember what happened when dream confessed to me?
y/n: didn't you, like, thank him?
george, closes book and stares at the ceiling: i fucking thanked him.
——
aimsey, taking a free sample for a second time: i am a robber and a fraud
billzo, eating his twentieth free sample: and don't forget incredibly morally corrupt
——
y/n: what state are you in?
wilbur: constant anxiety.
tommy: denial.
tubbo: perfection.
ranboo:
ranboo: california?
——
{guess who FINALLY saw the barbie movie!! also holy fucking hell this chapter was 2213 words, i hope you guys enjoy. i really like making the incorrect quotes stuff. also it's 4 am, my sleep schedule is fucked.}
{always proof read, don't be dumb like me}