paranoid | joe jonas

two

Spencer Daniels

I've been in New York for approximately 3 weeks. I love it. More than I thought I would. More importantly, I missed it more than I thought I did. Summer is ending and the leaves are already started to change colors in central park. Thankfully my apartment overlooks it, or should I say our apartment. Meaning me and Sidney. She's coming this weekend to finally move in, my house sold pretty quickly actually, and she's been wrapping up those things, and the rest of her life to make the move.  I haven't heard a word from Joe since I saw him in the office. It was a shock, and maybe me offering for him to text me was a weird thing to say after not seeing each other for almost 10 years, but I didn't know what to say. I was shocked and stunned when I saw his perfect face in front of me.

I spent the first 2 years of college trying to get over the way we left things. Me telling him I had been in love with him since we were in the second grade, and him telling me there was too much going on and he didn't have time for me anymore. I mean he didn't actually say that, but I took the hint. I just started back to work this week, and I hate it. More than I hated it in Miami. I want to scream and throw a tantrum everytime I walk in there. I want to tell Reece I hate him and rip up important papers in face before I stomp out, and I don't know why. He hasn't necessarily done anything to make things so different but it's off. I don't love him anymore. He never knew that I loved him in the first place but it finally hit me that I don't meant everything to him like I thought I did, when he yelled a me for complaining about packing up my entire life. I know I agreed to it, but moving will make you say crazy things, and that's exactly what happened that night.

Reece has been working from home since we got here. So I don't even know why he wanted me here. Maybe today will be the day. The day I finally end our "relationship" and end this life i've somehow gotten myself into. Not like ending my life, but you know what I mean. No need to panic. I sat in office for hours, signing documents and filing them. Same thing I do everyday. We've been over this. When it hit 4 O'clock, I started typing. I typed until I was done at 4:45. I printed it off reading over it, and then signing my name. I walked into Reece's office and placed it on the desk. He comes in at night to get himself prepared for the next day. I haven't talked to him in 2 weeks.

I was the last person here at 5:30. I packed up my things in my office and walked out. Done. What a relief. Did I really just do that? No this is a dream. I'll be back tomorrow and that paper will mean nothing because I didn't actually type it or put it on Reece's desk. When I hit the sidewalk I debated on whether to go back inside and throw away my resignation. But I didn't. I need to do this, for me for once. When I finally got home, I wondered what i'd do tomorrow with a day off. Like an actually Wednesday off. That hasn't happened in who knows how long.

I poured myself a hefty glass of wine and walked to the balcony. I flung open the doors like something from a movie, and watched as the leaves fell off the trees and landed on the sidewalk. I didn't move all the way to New York just to be living the same life I did everyday. I moved back to New York to find myself, and the first step was visiting my parents. I'll add that to my not so busy anymore planner for Friday. That's the day Sidney's moving in but that way i'll be out of her hair for her to get her things in and not be in the way of the movers. This is perfect.

I woke up the next morning with a raging hangover and a headache. My alarm was still set to wake me up at 5:30 and when it did i unplugged my phone and threw out into the living room. No more alarms where the birds aren't even awake yet. Apparently I forgot to close the blinds last night when I fell asleep on the couch, before moving to my bedroom at around midnight. The light was coming through the window and blinding me so at that point I knew it was time to wake up.

First things first, brush the teeth then find watch and Tylenol asap. I did those things, in that exact order and then went to the living room to find my phone. I found it on its side propped up against a leg of the coffee table. I clicked the screen and it lit up.