JHYC Oneshot

JHYC AU Part 15: Space

Jaehan's POV

Lately, I noticed that Yechan seemed cold towards me. He was not himself nowadays. Besides, he rarely came to my room to hangout. Why was he avoiding me? Did I do something that made him mad? Even when I texted him, the tone of his replies was so flat. It was a bit different. Was he mad because I was to occupied with arranging our songs for the upcoming comeback? Well, he might have been. Yesterday was his dad's birthday and he invited me to come home with him but I refused. It was his dad and I wasn't invited and we didn't tell his parents yet about our romantic relationship. I could say that I had a good relationship with his parents especially with his dad but I didn't have that thick face to be with his family knowing of our relationship.  I knew Yechan was so excited to tell his parents about us , however, it scared me. 

A perfect warm shower calmed my mind for a bit. As I stepped out of  the shower, I was saddened seeing my bed empty. Normally, Yechan would be sprawled on it sleeping or playing while waiting for me to finish my shower. This time, Hangyeom was getting ready to go to bed.

"How was today, Gyeomie?" I asked as I dried my hair thoroughly with the hair dryer.

"Hyungnim! It was hectic. Taedong and I were busy working with Hyowun-hyung with the choreography of our comeback song. How about you? You were like a hermit locked in a cave for a long time."  Hangyeom replied.

"Yeah, I was finalizing the list of the songs so I can hand it in with our main producer." 

"I'm so excited for our comeback. We will busy as fuck this year." 

"Right. I hope everything goes well. By the way, has Yechan had an argument with Sebin again?" I curiously asked.

"Huh? Nope! What's wrong with Yechan?" 

"He is giving me a cold shoulder." 

"Oh, cold shoulder? and not a shoulder to cry on? Yechanie seems fine. He was joking around with Sebin and Hwi today. Why? Hyungnim? Did you fight? "

"No, we didn't . I just...  uhm.." Then, Hangyeom interrupted me even before I competed what I would like to say.

"Hyungnim, you know. Yechan is not the cold one. You are. "

I got confused with what I heard and I asked Hangyeom what he meant by that.

"What?"

"Hyungnim, I didn't mean to butt in, okay ? but do you really have the same feelings for Yechan?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You are so oblivious. Yechan is very expressive of his feelings towards you. We can even tell by how he just looks at you, how he adores you but I can't sense that from you. I feel like you are just forced to reciprocate his feelings, or do you really do? Hyungnim, I'm sorry to say but if you just don't totally reciprocate Yechan's feelings for you, it is better to end it because you are hurting him. "

I was totally dumbfounded of what I heard. I couldn't react. Was Hangyeom right?  Was I  hurting Yechan? Then, these  questions kept running into my mind. Did I love Yechan as much as he loved me? Hangyeom said goodnight to me and slept. Well, he was dead tired. I went out of our room to get some water. As I entered the kitchen I came across with Yechan who had also just finished his shower. We looked at each other. He bowed at me and walked past me. What was it? I turned and grabbed his arm.

"Yah! We need to talk."

"I'm tired, hyung."

I dragged him towards the veranda where we could talk privately without disturbing the other members.

"Hey, what's the matter? Let's talk." I talked to him softly.

"Nothing. We have nothing to talk about , hyung." He replied . Yechan was indeed a person who was not afraid to make an eye contact.

"What's wrong?" I insisted to ask.

"I made a mistake, hyung." 

"Huh? mistake? What mistake are you talking about? Did you break another company rules?" 

Yechan looked at me coldly and firmly.

"I didn't do anything against the company. The only mistake I made was falling in love with you. I'm sorry."  He bowed at me and I was shocked.

"What? hey. What are you talking about? Did something happen?"

"It has been 2 months since I confessed my feeling to you but hyung, have you ever loved me as me? not like a younger brother?"

"of course, I love you! We kissed right?"

"Kiss? Hyung, you are so shallow. Tch."

"Yechan, what's wrong?"

"Hyung, I will still be working beside you and I will work hard for the group. But I think, we need to have distance for a while and focus our energy and mind for the comeback. I want to put aside our relationship."

"Yah! Are you breaking up with me?"

"No. We are not."

"So what are you spouting?"

"We are not breaking up because even from the start, there was never us. "

I was left shocked. Yechan opened the door of the veranda and headed back to his room. Wait. Why my heart was beating slowly. What did I do? I was confused. I looked back and stared at Yechan's back walking away. What feeling was this? I was dumped. Was I too dense? No! No! No!

I rushed back inside and hugged Yechan's back.

"Please! Please! Don't break up with me! I'm sorry!" I couldn't hold back the tears that was about to fall when he left me in that cold veranda.

"Yechan, please... please.. please.. please..." 

"Hyung, let go. You will wake the others."

"No, I'm not letting go. "

"Hyung, I'm tired. "

"Tired? It has been 2 months and you are giving me up like that? I thought you loved me?"

"Hyung! " Yechan's shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Hyung! How about you? If you can't love me as a man, then, it is over. I know for myself that I love you and I'm not interested in any women. Do you think my feelings were just a mere infatuation because I was way younger than you? Don't you think I was just fooling around? Didn't you know how much I held back myself 3 years ago? " 

"I love you but I just didn't know how to love. Yechan? please..." Why was I begging? Why was I begging for Yechan not to leave me. I had never done this in my life. Kim Jaehan never begged. Kim Jaehan was a strong man but why? Yechan turned his body facing me and he gently stroked his hand on my wet face.

"Hyung, it hurts. It hurts that you are not 100% sure of your feelings. Hyung, I'm sorry that I was a pushover. I assaulted your mix feelings toward me. I do really love you but I guess it is better off that you think about your true feelings. I'm not so sure if I can wait but whatever it is I will accept it with all my heart. Goodnight, hyung." Yechan left a warm kissed on my forehead. I could still feel the sensation of his warm lips on my skin. Why was I so defeated?