𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 by A.P.Mary

27

 When I first saw light, I believed that I had passed away, but I wasn't so blessed. I looked into a room that I had once been in, but the time was still far off. He was in the nursing room with me. I noticed that when I looked at his face, his under eyes were larger than usual. Has he been crying?

He looked back at me, but just a few moments of realization had to pass before jumping from his seat. He hurried towards me, and I flinched, but suddenly everything hurt. I gasp, and he takes my face in his hands, caressing it like it was made of porcelain. I cannot say anything; his lips are crashing down on mine as soon as I try to do so. His kiss is so intense that I feel like I am losing myself in him. It's as if nothing else matters in the world except for this moment.

He smelled strange; his typical rose perfume had been replaced with a sweeter version, but it was still formal, similar to the simple fresh scents that all men over the age of 40 wear. I still like it, and as I reach out to grab the back of his head, I notice that his bun is very dry from swimming in salt water. I find myself distancing myself from him to ask, "Did I kill him?"

"You didn't, but I did." As Nisha stands there grinning, we both turn to face the door. I struggle to get to my feet, oblivious to the pain in every joint in my body, and she approaches on her own. I came from behind and did it for you, mon cheri, since you were already shot when you wanted to pull the trigger. I look up at her in shock

"And they say romance is dead '' She hugs me laughing, and as I try to do so too, my lung betrays me. As she helps me sit up, I still feel his gaze on my lips, and something about his looks makes my heart burn. I return to Nisha "Where have you been?"

"I threw myself to a lovely girl outside this house, and then went to the basement. Then I did what I do best and I got a proper room afterwards, sounds familiar?" I look at her disappointed, to which she just shrugs and smiles. I saw him listening to us, and as soon as he understood, he looked almost not surprised. I'm no better than her.

"I saw mom" her smile drops, and he focuses on me. "She told me to try and kill him, imagine how much she laughed when I failed and threw myself backwards dramatically" I laugh but my lungs still refuse to collaborate. She just smiles at me, signing Angelo to take me with them. He positions his arms under my back and my knee, and then we proceed to follow her.

I get seated on a sofa, and then I realize we two and Antaura were the only ones in the room. I look at them confused, to which Antaura spits rapidly.

"I put my father's Bulgarian organization under your name." My mind races as I try to comprehend the gravity of her words. How could she have done something so reckless and dangerous without my knowledge or consent?

Good morning to you too I guess.

"You what". Angelo just glared at her for being so sudden, and she just raised her shoulders in confusion.

We needed that support in the past, but since I couldn't handle it for some reason, we put the burden on you. Therefore, this is the army that the mad man informed me of.

"Good," they look relieved by me, but I cut them off shortly, "Now take it off me."

I'm not sure why they appear so surprised, but I'm done with everything. I'm tired of this life, of having to deal with this kind of responsibility, and of everything else that goes along with it. I have reached my breaking point, and if I don't change something, I will definitely collapse.

"You just take everything so easily, don't you?" I roll my eyes at her. Here she goes again, speaking of morals and of how childish I am. I wish she could see that her constant lecturing only pushes me further away. Maybe one day she'll realize that I need her support and understanding, not her judgment. But today is not the day.

"For god's sake I'm sick of this. I can't bear to take care of anyone or anything besides myself. I should be more concerned about finding a job to feed myself and keep me happy until I die at the age of 23, not about a group of criminals in Europe that I don't even know. Why on earth do you think I'd agree to this?" My words seemed to have shocked both her and Antaura. I never showed signs of wanting to quit before, and that's because before I saw my mother, I never felt the real ugliness of this. I could see the fear in their eyes as they realized the depth of my determination to leave this life behind and start anew. It was a difficult decision, but one that I knew was necessary for me and for my life.

But he isn't shocked or fearful.

His soft eyes let me know he was also exhausted. We didn't ask to be the victims of the trauma of our early years. We were raised in it. He was able to see through me. It was as if he knew all my secrets without me even saying a word. We learned to be tough in that environment, but it also made us guarded inside.

In this moment I could feel hope. I gave myself permission to find shelter in him, and I knew he would have followed me just by the fact he's the reason I'm still able to breathe. We met evil when we were kids, we don't need to live it.

~

"I don't understand" I looked at his face, and the days of stress started wearing onto his dark circles.

We lay silently in his bed, just resting, while everyone around us was too bothered to sleep to hear what we were talking about. It was a rare moment of peace in the chaos of our lives, and I knew I would cherish it forever. As we whispered to each other, I felt grateful for his presence and the comfort he was pouring down on me.

He stroked my hair, his other arm keeping me tightly to him. "Do you trust me?" I look at him profoundly. He wasn't the cocky guy I met at the café, and neither was my kidnapper. He wasn't either my enemy or my hero. As I looked at him closely, I realized that he was just a pawn in this game of power and control. He was simply doing what he was told to do, without any personal motives or emotions involved. He was Angelo, a man of barely 27 who lived his whole life during his childhood. He is a tired man, but he is still the man who has kept me alive all along.

We met by mistake. We were after the same people, but targeted each other by mistake. A mistake led to others, and we ended up here by mistake. My decision could be another of those mistakes, but at this point, I can take anything.

"Yes"

He kisses my forehead deeply, and I could feel his embrace tightening "then you know enough".