Instincts

Obsession

Note: Trigger warnings for SA, self-harm, and sexual content.

.....

The heat is relentless against Caz's back, but he refuses to stop working because if he stops, the thoughts of Allegra will comeback ten fold and that is more hurtful than a severe sunburn.

It's been two days since she and Andrew left town, and sanity is strung along. She left as if he didn't matter a thing. Like all the kisses and nights they spend together were a dream only he remembers.

He has not showed up to work at The Little Rainbow either, and by the lack of calls from his bosses, he assumes they know what went down between Andy, Allegra, and himself.

That night he decides to show, and he finds Lorie wiping the counters and her partner Suzy drying the glasses.

"Hey." He sheepishly says.

Both the girls look at each other then smile at him with a deep understanding. It's a good thing Lorena takes after her father mostly, so he is not constantly reminded of Allegra when looking at her. But who is he kidding?

Just being there is a stab to his chest.

He returns home sometime around 11 pm, opens the door and just stands there, staring into the darkness.

He can't live like this. He misses her so much. Yet, he can't forgive her. She stayed with Andy, she left with Andy. She probably is not even thinking about him at all.

After taking a deep inhale, Caz steps into his place, almost tripping with a Manila envelope that someone had left in front of his door.

It is a heavy one, and it's sealed with grey duck tape. He brings it in and turns in the lights to open it with his utility knife.

It takes his brain a whole minute to register what he is seeing. He doesn't realize he isn't even breathing until the room starts spinning under his feet.

The pictures, which could easily be hundreds by the size of the stack, are horrific. It is Allegra, yet he can't seem to recognize her. All life is drained from her eyes, so much so his heart stops, fear crawling along his back. The pictures are something out of the darkest corner of the internet, the kind of adult content you do not see in main stream searches. The kind that would put you in jail just by searching it. Caz had never seen anything like it. The bruises, the blood, the torture instruments. Allegra's tears. Allegra's expression devoided of her natural light.

Caz has to turn to the sink and empty the content of his dinner. There is no way those photos were taken with her consent, even if she is looking directly at the camera in some.

He uses the edge of the counter as his only support as he tries to calm his fast beating heart. What is the meaning of this? Why would someone want those pictures to be seen by him? Or worst yet, who would want to take those pictures in the first place? 

Lance. He knew of Lance abuse but he just realizes the lengths of it.

It doesn't explain why would he want Caz to see the pictures.

He doesn't have the strength to keep looking through the pictures. The images will be burned in his mind forever now, and even though he is angry and heartbroken because of Allegra, he still thinks of her and how catastrophic it would be to her life if these images ever were to see the light.

It had taken her so long to go back to her normal self, to rebuild a little of her life and relationships... Lance seemed to be hell bent on taking that away from her.

Maybe it is for the best that she is away. The envelope in his hands feels like a bomb that is about to explode, but he doesn't know who has the detonator.