Broken child | Adopted by Elizabeth Olsen

Chapter 29: Hauting darkness

Tessa's pov:

When I get off the phone, everybody's looking at me, expecting some kind of news.

"So, uhm, Malcolm called"

They wait for me to continue.

"He was at the funeral...surprised not to see me there"

The two elders look a bit confused, not knowing who I'm talking about.

I cannot stress enough how not in mood I am right now. I don't give a crap about my shitty mother. I don't wanna think about this.

"Okay, are we going?" I asked my Aunts, slightly visibly annoyed by the silence as if I'm some hurt lamb

"Uh, yes, yeah" Aunt Ashley says before looking at Lizzie, who seems to be stressed out the most

"Have a goodnight, Mom" I hug my mom and smile at her before leaving the apartment

—

Huddled in the backseat, I press my forehead against the cool window, raindrops racing down like silent tears. The passing streetlights cast fleeting shadows on my face. The tiredness washes over me, so I decide to simply close my eyes. It takes about 15 minutes to get to Aunts' apartment, so maybe I'll get to rest a little even during that time.

"Hey, Tess, do you want something from the store? Maybe something exact for breakfast or some of your favorite snacks? We could stop by if you want" Aunt Ashley turns to me, waiting for an answer

"Uh, I'm alright, thank you" I respond in a sleepy voice

The more weariness settles in, the sleepier I get, the more my heavy thoughts cloak my brain. In the haze of drowsiness, my mind seems to be working even more and harder. I get more anxious, I get more worried and my heart aches more and more with the thought that I simply don't know what to think anymore.

But there's a one question that could make sense.

"Aunt MK? Aunt Ashley?" my words emerge in a soft murmur

"What is it, honey?" Aunt MK asks as Aunt Ashley hums, showing her attention

"Why does your mom hate me?"

A heavy silence envelops the space as my question hangs in the air. I'm too tired to think if it was appropriate. I get it that she hates me, I just wanna know what I did wrong though.

"Sweetheart, uhm, grandma- your mommy didn't have the greatest contact with her recently and grandma's kind of confused by all that's happened in her daughter's life"

"I happened in her life. That's what's wrong" I state, now more awake

"No, baby, that's not what I meant-"

"But that's what it is" I tell them, knowingly "I heard her arguing with mom earlier" I look down

We're finally at the place. I take my backpack and hop out of the car. I look up, noticing the sky full of stars. I feel like they're calling me, like they wanna talk to me. And I want to talk to them too.

Tessie! Tessie! We know you feel us!

I wish I could just stop existing for a few minutes, just to rest, just to be at peace. I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna be here for this one goddamn second. Let me just...breathe. Please.

Let me stop thinking about mother, and how she took those pills, or why, and was I the reason? Or if my brother hates my now just as well as my new grandmother, or why I feel like I don't want to do this anymore and why all the psychoses and tragedies meet exactly me.