Derry Girls: Impossible to Ignore

Chapter 3: First Date

     Erin and James decided to have their first date the day after her and Orla's joint birthday party. Both were extremely nervous, they were. Erin was up in her room with Orla, Clare and Michelle desperately trying to find something to wear.

     "For fuck's sake, Erin!" Michelle exclaimed. "Just calm yer tits and pick a frock already!"
     "It's not that simple, Michelle!" Erin shouted back. "This is my first ever real date! I wanna make sure I look my best!"
     "It's just James," Michelle scoffed. "Who the fuck cares?"
     "Obviously she does," chimed in Clare. "The two have already exchanged the three big words!"
    "Please n' thank ye?" Orla asked.
     "No!" Clare screeched. "I love ye, Orla! I! Love! ye!"
     "Aw, that's real sweet of ye, it is, Clare," Orla replied with a warm smile. "I love ye too, I surely do!"
     "No... that's not what I... forget it! I love ye too," Clare gave up. "Why did ye include Orla in this?"
     "Ye're supposed to include your closest gal pals in this sort of shit," replied Erin. "Better or worse, Orla is a gal pal."
     "Aw, I love ye too, Erin!" Orla exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her cousin in a tight hug.
     "Not the time, Orla!" Erin shrugged her off. "But... thank ye. I love ye too."
     "See? Ye've both confessed ye love each other," Michelle pointed out. "Boke-o-rama by the way! So he won't give a fuck what yer wearin' for this. Christ, ye could just go in your nickers!"
     "I will not!" Erin exclaimed.
     "I'm obviously fuckin' with ye there, Erin," Michelle rolled her eyes. "Ye do that and he'd most likely keel over from a heart attack!"

     That comment, while crude, did give Erin a bit of confidence in her looks. She knew James thought she was beautiful. She didn't think he was so bad lookin' himself.
"What are ye two doin' for yer first date?" Clare asked.
"We're goin' for the classic dinner an' a movie," Erin smiled widely.
"Fuckin' cliche is what that is," scoffed Michelle.
"What would ye know, Michelle?" Clare asked. "Ye hardly ever go on dates."
"Oi! Been on more fuckin' dates than ye, I have!" Michelle shot back. "Jesus, ye've never ever been on one!"
"That isn't true!" Clare shrieked. "Laurie had I have been on a couple dates!"
"Catch yerself on!" Michelle exclaimed. "The lexziie from the record shop? Ye never had done that and not told us!"
"We wanted to be private and see how it went," Clare retorted.
"So, she yer special lady now?" Michelle asked.
"I'm not sure," Clare pouted. "Long distant relationships are difficult, ye know."
"Ya live in Strabane, Clare," Erin pointed out. "It's barely half an hour away."
"But traffic is a giant pain in the arse!" Clare exclaimed. "Although, Laurie does drive."
"Does Laurie drive a lorry?" Orla asked. "That'd be real cracker if she did!"
"She's not a delivery driver, Orla," Clare retorted.
"Ye and Dicko got transportation for this date?" Michelle asked.
"Daddy is lettin' us use the car," Erin smiled. "He doesn't work tomorrow, so James can just bring it back later."

     "What movie are ye seein'?" Orla asked.
     "Somethin' called Jackie Brown," answered Erin.
     "Oi! I've heard of that shit!" Michelle exclaimed. "Got the lad from that movie with the disco dancer from Look Who's Talkin' where they're spout' motherfucker! This new one's got the crazy fucker who drives a taxi an' hangs out with that wee angry fella that tried to rob Macaulay Culkin, plus that one fella that played Batman! Looks absolutely cracker! Can we come along!?"
     "Absolutely not!" Erin exclaimed.
     "Why the fuck not?" Michelle asked with annoyance.
     "Cuz this is a date! Not a social outin' with friends!" Erin retorted.
"Ach! Ye're no fuckin' fun," scoffed Michelle.

Downstairs, Mary and Sarah were down in the kitchen, waiting for when they needed to help with hair and makeup. Sarah had various makeup and hair accessories out on the table.
"Jesus, but those wains are takin' a long time gettin' ready, so they are," said Sarah while she casually filed her nails.
"Not as long as ye've been known to take for pretty much any other occasion," retorted Mary. "Sides that, Erin is excited, what with this bein' her first real date an' all."
"Who's the lucky fella again?" Sarah asked.
"James Maguire, Sarah," replied Mary. "The wee English fella."
"I thought he was gay, I did," Sarah shrugged.
"We saw them two kissin' at the party yesterday." Mary pointed out.
"Oh, that's who that was," Sarah realized. "Thought he was some other fella, I did."
"Christ," Mary said under her breath.
"So, where is the wee English fella now?" Sarah asked.
"Gerry and Da took him to Jim from across the road," replied Mary. "Da figur'd Jim might have some ol' suit James could wear. I didn't argue with it, keeps 'em busy while we get Erin ready."