Derry Girls: Impossible to Ignore

Chapter 10: Dear Nial, Part 2

The next letter was more heartfelt than expected.

Niall.
He almost left Derry! James almost fuckin' left! His Ma showed up the fuck outta nowhere, wantin' to take James back to London to be labor for some stupid fuckin' sticker business! None of us could believe it! I told him he couldn't do it! I told him he was one of us now! A Derry Girl! He thought I was takin' the piss out of him. But I explained it doesn't matter that he's got that stupid accent, or that his bits are different to our bits, but because being a Derry Girl is a fuckin' state of mind!

     It looked like he was really leavin' us. But then Orla saw him standing high beyond the crowds! We couldn't hear him at the time over all screaming, but he was declaring he was a Derry Girl! I never thought I'd grow to care so much for that wee English prick. But the last couple years he'd become more than just a cousin. He became one of my best friends! I really hope you can meet him some day.
     - Love, Michelle

     Niall noticed this letter had some tear stains on it. It was probably the most vulnerable letter Michelle had written him since her first. Given when it was written, he's surprised she didn't make mention of US President Bill Clinton's visit. Guess she was too excited from James staying and declaring himself a Derry Girl.

     Dear Niall,
     Ryan wasn't talkin' out his hole when he said he'd move out once he was 18! He got into motherfuckin' Queens University! Can you's believe that shit!? When did he get so fuckin' smart!? Christ, I'll miss him! Now I'm stuck with Dicko and Grady!

     Meanwhile, me and the girls were freakin' the fuck out over our GCSE scores! So we decided to break into Gus school to see our results early. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea. James wanted to record us with camcorder his Ma got him to make up for her shitty parentin'. We ran into these two fellas that claimed they were takin' the school computers for repairs. Only after helpin' 'em out did we realized we'd just help them jack the new computers!

     We got fuckin' arrested almost immediately! Not exactly important, but the RUC interrogatin' us was a massive ride! They wanted us to confess to a crime we didn't technically commit! They wanted us to call a legal guardian, which no fuckin' way were we gonna do that! Erin got the cracker idea to call her Uncle Colm. That's Joe's insanely borin' brother! Christ, he could bore anyone to death! He definitely wore those RUC fuckers down!

     We found out our scores were passing. We'd have gotten away with the whole breakin' n' enterin' shit, if Dicko hadn't left his fuckin' camera at the school! Fuckin' wee English prick! Write ye again!
     - Love, Michelle XOXO

     Niall was beginning to think it was pure dumb luck that Michelle and her friends hasn't ended up incarcerated as well. Still, she cut back on insulting James, plus wasn't beginning her letters with "Motherfucker" nearly as often. He was also happy for Ryan, who often talked about wanting to go to Queens University.

     Dear Niall,
     We had a chance to be featured live on fuckin' TV! A charity talent show was bein' done in the style of Stars in Their Eyes! The 5 of us put on a cracker rendition of Who Do You Think You Are by  the Spice Girls (ye know doubt heard of 'em), but then Erin had a cack attack thinkin' her Ma was havin' an affair with a hot plumber! Admittedly, we all thought that to be the case too at first. Turns out Mary was just talkin' with the hot plumber 'bout takin' some university courses in English Lit. Jenny Joyce ended up on live tv, despite bein' fuckin' tone deaf! Hope ye're doin' alright in there.
     - Love Michelle XOXO

     Niall did have some idea who the Spice Girls were. A few prisoners had posters of them hanging up in their cells. He hopes Michelle and her friends sounded good, he'd love to tear them sing.