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being afab (rant)

although i am transmasc/genderqueer, i am still cursed with a girl body, which means

- CuRvEs

- DYSPHORIA

- people thinking im older bcuz im 5' 2" (which is tall-ish for my age even if i was amab, but especially being afab (the average is like 5-7 inches shorter))

- and finally, FUCKING PERIOD CRAMPS

ill go into detail about gender dysphoria some other time. 

this time, i am ranting about the terrible-ness of cramps.

so, as someone on youtube once said, for anyone who doesnt know, period cramps range from mild discomfort to "my inside are crumbling to dust as i speak."

oftentimes for me its like this:

either "well this sucks. i am in pain."

or "i am fucking dying. i feel like im gonna either throw up or pass out or both. please send help. painkillers arent working fucking fast enough"

now that in of itself is terrible but it gets worse.

i hit puberty at 9.

which meant this excruciating pain started happening to me when i was 9 years old.

and i started actually telling people so i can get painkillers when i was like 10-11.

i had to just suffer through it for a log time and

HOLY SHIT

this isnt the kind of thing you can "get used to."

i thought it was when i was younger, but it is not.

...i hate this so much.

please help.

i would give almost anything to wake up tomorrow morning in a guy body, i swear-