Sober to death

Chapter 10

"So, this is a question for Hyunjin. How are your solo activities holding up?"

"Um... pretty good. I'm happy to give my fans this piece of me too."

"Many fans have argued about your release and as I have read online, you have been under attack-"

"I think that is enough. Hyunjin hyung can have the spotlight another time! Where are my questions now?"

At that moment Hyunjin couldn't have been more thankfull for Jeongin's interference. With a serious-funny tone on his voice he was able to help him dodge the really uncomfortable questions that could have followed. He should remember to pay Jeongin back soon.

.

They were on the cars back to their dorm.
It was a king day and everyone had been pretty tired and some were almost angry at each other.
Hyunjin was sure, even if a pin was to drop an argument would have been the most possible outcome.

So when Seungmin made the mistake of occupying the bathroom a few minutes more than he should have, it fell like a bomb.

Jeongin started shouting at him, then Felix was arguing with Minho about the food choices while Chanbgin tried to calm all of them down and Chan was helping Jisung out of a panic attack.

And him?
He was just fighting to get out of there as he felt his own panic attack growing from the pit of his stomach.

Just as he was about to walk out of the door a what felt like bullet-phrase ruined his escape plan.

"And of course Hyunjin's gone the moment something tough happens!"

Chan and Minho immediately turned to look at him not yet angry, neither way too concerned.

"Um- I wasn't... I was-"

"What were you gonna go for a s-"

"Shut up Jeongin!"

"Why hyung? Is that the thank you for the interview earlier on? Would you like me to let them ask you about your almost completely of a failur-"

"Stop it Jeongin."

"Why Seungmin? Weren't we just talking about that yesterd-"

"Stop it!"

"Of course. Felix, Seungmin, me, Chan, we all play it nice to him when really it's not wonder his solo-"

"Why are you doing this to me? I know it wasn't liked by the audience and I get it that you are angry but all of these are not my fault. I didn't even want to release a song."

"Yet you did."

"I'm sorry if I took your turn, I wish it would have been you too. But this... what's the point of this argument? It doesn't even make sense! Please, control your anger next time and think before you talk, you all know nothing about this fucking song and what has followed after its release okay? So shut it. I'm going out."

"No, Hyun wait-"

.

He was walking all around the city again, finally settling for his favorite spot on the bridge.

Taking a cigarette and a lighter out if his pocket he couldn't help but think about the way his brain was working.

Sometimes he forgets what depression feels like.
Sometimes he even thinks he's 'cured'.
Sometimes he's happy, smiling, passionate.
Sometimes he's still normal.

And then one little thing, one inaccuracy will happen and everything will be ruined.

One thought, one word, one tiny little thing can send him over the edge and into a loop of dark thoughts.

"Is that what you didn't want us to know?"

"Minho..."

"Hm, what can I say... I always know were to find you."

"You are."

"I've noticed you 'slipping' the last few days and I just needed to make sure you didn't actually slip, I don't know if you get me."

"I do and I have a feeling you get me more than I get myself sometimes."

"Hey, pass me you cigarette. "

"Are you an idiot? No, you're never getting one from me."

"Why? You seem to like them. I want one too, what's so bad about it?"

"You want to ruin your lungs? This thing burns like shit."

"Oh it does that?"

"Yeah?!"

"Then why should I let you smoke that?"

"It's different-"

"Oh yes, you're right. I am older than you so it is my responsibility to make sure you stop."

Before Hyunjin could even blink Minho's hand had already grabbed the pack of them from inside his pocket, tossing them into the water.

"Why'd you do that?"

"You should be thankful I'm allowing you to enjoy your last cig."

"You know I can just buy another pack right?"

"Well duh?! And I can just throw that away too, I have no problem. You'll be wasting your money bur you're a millionaire so I'm not that worried about that."

"The way you think sometimes..."

"Oh, I had an idea."

"What?"

"Do you want to go for a weekend in my beach house? I feel like you need a more stable and calm environment even if it's just for two or three days."

"Is that a date trip hyung?"

"If you want it to be..."

"Hmmm. And what about-"

"Don't worry, I'm one threat away from gifting us four days off."

"Can we go there right now?"

"I have already packed the car."