Don't Stay, Don't Go (Ben Drowned Love Story)

Ch. 41

"Come on let's go inside. We can eat breakfast together if you want." Ben offers. I can't possibly handle this. I don't know why he doesn't hate me right now. I have no clue why he wants to be around me. I don't even want to be around me right now. My head is constantly spinning, thinking of worst possible situations I could put myself into this time. What I should be doing. And how stupid I'm being. He wants to be around me so why am I rejecting him?

During my thoughts I don't see Ben hold out his hand. I only snap back to reality when I feel his hand entwine with mine. I flinch at the realization of contact so hard I feel myself jump out of the tree, bringing Ben down with me to the ground. We weren't to far, so I only get a few minor cuts and bruises. I dust myself off as Tim rushes out the front door.

"Oh my god, are you ok?" He inspects my arms and legs to make sure I didn't hurt myself.

"Yea, no I'm fine." I wave him off.

"What happened?" He coos.

"It was my fault," Ben explains. "She wasn't paying attention and I grabbed her an she jumped."

"No, I wasn't paying attention so it was my fault."

"As long as you're ok. Are you hungry?"

"Am I a teenager?" I smile.

"Alright, come on I'll make some breakfast." Tim scoops me up and starts carrying me to the house.

"I can walk!" I protest.

"I know, but I felt like it." Tim smiles. "When we get inside you can take a shower and wash off the dirt and I'll wash your clothes."

"I'm sure my shower would be shorter than the time it takes to wash my clothes. What would I wear?" For once I have a logical thought.

"I'm her size" Ben offers. My blood runs cold. Why would I wear his clothes? Can I say no?

"Is that ok with you?" Tim asks. Without thinking I say the first thing to come to my lips.

"Yea thats cool. Thats great, its fantastic." I blurt out enthusiastically. Then I hear what I said and blush at my stupidity mixed with the smug look on Ben's face. Tim sets me down and hands me a towel.

"Right down there." He points down the hall. Ben dashes to his room, probably about to get me a change of clothes.

"I can go after this right?" I call as I walk down the hall.

"We'll see." He replies in a suddenly subdued, tired voice. That doesn't sound good. I close the door behind me as I walk in. I quickly strip down and turn on the water, waiting for it to get hot. Once the water feels hotter than Satan's fireplace I duck under and sigh. The shower is always the best place to think recklessly. So I think, without knowing if I'll be listened to or not.

I'm such an asshole, I've been ignoring Ben when he obviously wants to talk to me. I have no clue why, I could just accept his attention and hope for the best but I guess I'm stubborn that way. I like having things a specific way and I guess I like crushing myself. It hurts, I'm looking at how stupid I am and wishing I could just smarten up but I can't.

I wash my hair with whatever soap is in here and sigh with the contentment of being clean. I turn off the shower and wrap myself in my towel before stepping out of the bathroom. A set of clothes identical to Ben's in every way except color sit in front of the door. I pick up the red pieces of clothing and close the door again to change.