Don't Stay, Don't Go (Ben Drowned Love Story)

Ch. 46

"Sure I'll watch your tapes with you sweetie, just not right now alright? I have to find you a second pair of clothes, we can't have you wearing Ben's clothes all the time." I gently hand him the camera back before dashing into his closet. A few moments later I come out with his red flannel draped over my shoulders.
"This was always my favorite... Well, this and Jay's stupid brown hat." My face flushes.
"You don't enjoy telling people what you like do you?" Ben asks from the sidelines.
"No." I practically whisper, the question almost taking my voice away. "Any time I get attached to something it's a weakness that people use against me." I feel my eyes water a bit and force them down again.
"Makes you human." Masky pulls a hat over my eyes, a hat that I assume is the one I was talking about. I pull it off my head and look at it, it certainly looks like Jay's hat. I take a deep breath in, and smell the forest scent attached to it. A frail smile creeps across my lips and I look up at Tim with hope. "It's all yours sweetie." He croons. I can feel unwanted emotions threatening to express themselves, but to keep them inside I hug the old hat close to my body, while also holding myself. It takes me a few moments to make sure my voice won't crack if I use it.
"Thank you dad." I don't even try to correct myself out of fear that my voice will become a sob. I run into my room and close the door then sit down with this new treasure. I didn't know Jay, but that doesn't mean I didn't care for him when I thought he was alive. Any time he found another tape, I would be just as excited with the new lead as he was. When he fell out with Tim, I would silently encourage him to make things right. I get so attached to people I never met.
Seeing as I was stupid and left the camera in dads room I think I'll find someone to be sort of friends with. I'm sure I'm a bother to most everyone here, but you never know. Now lets see... I can't really look at a list of everyone here but I know that Habit is here. I wouldn't say I like him, being crazy and eating his baby, but I guess it's a place to start.
Speaking of places to start, how do I find him? I don't want to ask so I guess I'll just have to look around. What is something that makes him stand out? He's one of the few people who listen to music I guess. Although chances are he isn't listening to anything right now.
I hum a melody I remember from EverymanHYBRID to remind myself while I walk around, trailing the wall with my fingers.
A stray memory makes me smile. I found out what song was playing in the background of a EverymanHYBRID episode one time. The song was I Can't Decide by The Scissor Sisters, and when I told my dad he asked if it was a pair of lesbians. I laughed at the joke, although disappointed that he did what he always did. Wave off anything I found important.
"Hey, your the girl from the kitchen! I have that song on CD." The sound of a voice behind me makes me jump. Fast as lightning I spin around on my heals and find someone who isn't as tall as Tim but taller than I am. "And a few other songs you would like if you like that one." I sigh in relief that I found what I was looking for, and smile.
"Sure."
"Come on, I was on my way to my room already." He boops my hat and waves me along. I wonder what his room looks like.