Chapter 19

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I sat on the bed feeling so good, my face had no smile nor was it shining like always

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I sat on the bed feeling so good, my face had no smile nor was it shining like always. Why? Because today they are going to say goodbye to my Dadu for the last time. I am still unable to believe whatever happened but then, when the morning arrived all I had was to believe that Dadu left me. I wiped my tears as the door opened. Maa entered the room with her sympathetic expressions . I kept my eyes to the ground because I know if I look up I will cry. And I don't want to cry. 

She sat beside me as a little bit of warmness spread in my heart. My own mother didn't come to ask me, I know she must be busy but I need someone and here my mother in law came to give me comfort with her presence. 

She put her hand on mine and I realized how badly I was shaking. 

“ I know... It's hard for you. You have spent your life and grown up in front of him , but you know.. Allah sent us here and he misses his people too... He must have missed your Dadu too much. Because Our Allah loves us more than 70 mothers. And a single mother can't stay without her child “ 

I sniffed and nodded but there's something in my heart that is not letting me feel something, everything is just blank and there's a pain in my chest. I looked up at her and forced a little smile. If that's what it takes to fool the world. 

“ I am fine... Maa... I am good “ I said her eyes roamed around my face as she pulled me in a hug. I close my eyes not letting a single teardrop. 

“ You called me Maa and then thought that you could fool me with your fake smile. Beta you can fool the whole world but not your mom, I can see through your heart that you are not good. “ I took a shaky breath as she pulled away. Putting a hand on my cheek. 

“ Come down now, your Dadu will think you don't love him enough to say goodbye. “ I nodded and she got up looking at me for the last time before leaving the room. I walked towards the mirror and saw my eyes were red and puffy and my nose and cheeks were red. 

I quickly washed my face, dried it and walked downstairs even though I didn't want to see everyone looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I am still in my parents house and Ahad is here too, he is managing everything like a brave son. 

I look towards helping the guests. There are so many guests who never came to any celebration but they came now because they are scared that on the day of judgment they will be asked about it. Only women were here as all the men went to the graveyard. I picked up the plates and started to help my Ammi. 

“ Here , bachaa “ ( Kid) 

I said while giving some rice to that little kid. He is one of my relatives . That kid just looked up at me with a pout, I kneeled to his level and asked him. 

“ What's wrong? “ I asked as he gave me a candy from his pocket . 

“ Didi , why are you crying and why is everyone sad here? “ He asked as I nodded... I wish I was a kid too so at least I could be unaware of what is happening . I sat beside him. 

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