Furtive Ignominy (COMPLETED)

35

CHAPTER 35

Satoru felt his self loath increase the moment Y/n was out of his office. He bit his lower lip so hard it drew blood. He was so ashamed of himself, of what he did. His teeth gritted harshly that he could almost hear it crackle and that sound felt like yelling at him for being too paranoid. He was so focused on protecting Y/n that he didn't realize that he was caging her in.

But he was aware to himself that safeguarding her was not the only reason why he was like that. It was the utter fact that Geto had the highest probability of being Satsujin. He couldn't accept it himself, he trusted him all his life, and now that evidence was showing him that Geto was actually doing things that were opposite from what they believed as right. His anxiety was taking a toll on him.

He stood up, slightly wobbling back to his chair as vertigo from lack of proper sleep hit him. He slumped down on his chair and looked at the screen but his head was too heavy and his vision was like a view from a chaotic ship in the middle of sea during a storm. He took a deep breath and massaged his throbbing head before getting out to get some water.

He opened the fridge only to see a jug of water with sliced lemons and cucumber. It was freshly cut because the water didn't have the full taste of those fruits. He was sure Y/n had prepared this for him. "And all I do is make her feel like a prisoner."

With another moan of pain, he took a medicine and drank it along the water. Somehow it brought him relief.

He went upstairs and looked at Y/n's bedroom which had her door closed. He wanted to talk to her and apologize but he couldn't think of any words to say to her. And before he finally realized it, he was standing in front of Y/n's door with his knuckle about to knock.

This caused him to curse himself in his head. He knew he would not have any idea what to do next if he was going to stay here, so he decided to have some fresh air.

He drove off after he left a sticky note on the fridge saying, "I'll be back... just got something to buy. Please, eat!"

While he was driving, he couldn't help but think that he had the liberty to go out and have some fresh air but Y/n was kept in the condo. This made his remorse run deeper.

He wanted to apologize, but how? He was in deep thoughts when out of nowhere he heard a song from a radio booming from the other vehicle beside him, "I can buy myself flowers~"

He watched the guy bobbing his head along to the music and singing along, though it was worse than he expected. The guy seemed to detect that he was watching him so he said, "Miley Cyrus, flowers! Got these vocals!"

"You must be an angel, man! Thank you!" Satoru beamed as he zoomed out.

He then went to a flower shop, where various flowers from potted to arranged in a basket were displayed all over the place. The smell was so immaculate Satoru felt free for being inside his condo for almost a couple of months.

"Hi! Can I do something for you, sir?" Asked a middle-aged morena lady with dark hair and eyes who was wearing gardening attire; the smile she wore contemplated her beauty.

"Err— I want to buy a flower but I don't know what kind she likes..." he mumbled, embarrassed to himself that of all the time they spent together, he hadn't really known her.

"It's fine! I can help you with that. Is it for a family? Or a friend? Or a partner?" Asked the lady.

"Uhm..." What are they again? He was not her boyfriend to say the least. "It's uh... she's a... my unique friend."