Shaded Soldiers || Gay MxM || Omegaverse

19. Comfort and Secrets

I still felt uneasy after breakfast, and it had a lot to do with how agitated Reid was. He tried to act calm and all, but it was clear he was still enraged by what I'd told him. I couldn't really understand why he got so mad... He was old enough to know plenty of omegas who'd suffered the same fate as I. Shouldn't he be used to hearing such stories?

It was just another story of a broodmare...

Once I finished eating, I stayed in the kitchen to listen to my teammates. Everyone was puzzled by what happened last night, and to my annoyance, no one really had anything new to say. We still had no answers. Hell, we had even more questions.

"I think I need to go for a run," Reid told me once he was done eating.

"Sure," I said, happy to get a little break from his fumes.

"I'll be back in a few hours," he muttered, and left.

I took a deep, deep breath, trying to relax. He'd forget my story... right? I fucking hated myself for bringing it up... I felt so uneasy... I just wanted to forget everything that had happened, and now I'd made things worse for myself.

"Hey..."

I looked up when I heard Captain's gentle voice next to me.

"Hi," I said.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked.

I shrugged, so he took the seat Reid had left behind.

"Is... everything all right?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked with a frown.

"Well, I know my Reid..." he muttered, peering over his shoulder. "He's not in a very happy mood..."

I sighed. Fuck me... I should've kept my fucking mouth shut.

"We didn't fight or anything, if that's what you mean," I told him, trying to smile. "Everything is all right."

"Uh-huh..." He turned his intense gaze back to me and continued reading me like an open book. "But I already knew you two didn't fight. Something else happened."

I stared at him for a brief second, then looked away. "What can I say? Everything is fine."

"Riley–"

"No. Just... Leave me alone," I said, suddenly snapping completely, and stormed out of the kitchen.

I didn't stop walking until I was all the way downstairs, about to enter the tech room. I'd thought I'd get to be left alone there, since Reid was still changing his clothes in our room, but Keita and Chandler were already working there.

I couldn't... I wanted to be alone... My omega was freaking out because of me, making me feel panicky as well.

Why did I ever say anything...? I should've kept my mouth shut...!

A moment later, I found myself sitting on the floor in the corner of the empty briefing room, my knees up against my chest and face hidden behind them. I tried so hard to get a hold of myself, but everything was going badly in my head. And my omega was far from sane... It was crying in the memories of pain... And so was I...

We could remember every single alpha who had tried to get us pregnant... People we knew and grew up with... And us having no choice but to accept it... And that officer who'd promised to get us recruited in exchange for sex... All the people after him who'd hated to see us growing stronger... Leaders who didn't want us to make it further... Peers who had tried to bully us into dropping out...

All the pain, humiliation, torture, and abuse... The bitch lace... Just because I was an omega who didn't want to go back to being a broodmare and prostitute... And after everything... I still couldn't protect myself... I was still completely at their mercy...