Little Ba Reum AU - The roads not taken

Chapter 4

Ba Reum felt the cold hands of panic grip him with the knowledge that his friends knew he was a detestable little, only capable of crying and being weak and needed to have someone take care of him.

"Ba Reum? Come on, why don't you sit here and tell us what happened," Chi Kook said, looking at him with a gentle expression after he had stood there, frozen.

The expression was mean to be soothing, was meant to be calming and nice but Ba Reum knew that it would soon change into disgust, and he just hoped his friends would be willing to keep it his secret until school was out.

People would wonder why they had fallen out, but there were excuses enough, and Ba Reum would make clear to them that he would play the bad guy in this story, that he would be the one who done something irredeemable.

Because that was the truth. He was something irredeemable. If even his own family couldn't want him because of being a little, why would someone not related want him?

"Yeah, sure," Ba Reum said, trying to keep calm, but dreading the discussion that would sure follow. There was no denying what just happen, but he could at least hide a part of it.

They didn't know how small and needy he became when he was little, they didn't need to know he couldn't keep his bladder even during day times or that his bowels were difficult to control as well.

"Are you big again?" Chi Kook's dad asked, noticing the different tones Ba Reum used and the difference in the way he held his body. There was something resigned in his pose, less nervous and anxious, but lost all the same.

"Yeah, I am," Ba Reum confessed, feeling very shy about it. The answer really gave him no turning back. It was admitting to being a little.

"What happened?" Chi Kook asked, looking worried at his friend, who shrugged, trying to not care too much about what had happened and what was going to happen. That would only lead to more suffering for him, and it would make it hard to stay big.

"My aunt just did what she was allowed too," Ba Reum said mildly, as if he didn't really care, "she said I'm an adult now, and that I have to find my own space,"

"Your own space?" Dong Koo asked, sounding confused. Ba Reum nodded, feeling his throat constrict, and he tried to scrape his throat, trying to regain control of himself.

"Ye..yeah. She said she sold the house, so I have to find somewhere else to life," Ba Reum said, trying to sound casual, even when he just felt like hiding somewhere and crying. He knew he couldn't give into that feeling, or he would just end up the same way as his friends found him.

"What, just like that, with no warning?" Chi Kook's mom gasped out in surprise.

"Oh, of course not," Ba Reum said, somehow still feeling the instinct to protect his aunt, "she gave me the rest of the month,"

"That's nothing," Chi Kook exclaimed, shocked "we're the twenty sixth already. That's just five days left,"

"Yeah, well, I'll have to find something soon. I'll need to start right away. I got my inheritance that came free. I'll have to go to the bank to see how much it is," Ba Reum said, thinking it all through and feeling overwhelmed, "she knew I had the money, so that's why she trusts me to do alright,"

Or at least, that was the excuse he made up in his heads, making it less bad, even though he was still overwhelmed. Not that he had time to be overwhelmed.

At least he was lucky enough to have a job in the weekends and perhaps he should see if he can extend it to the evenings as well. Perhaps that was why his aunt insisted, because she knew that he would have to stand on his own two feet soon enough.