Lost Time.

Pain And Relief.

TW: Mention of SH!!

It's been two weeks since König left. I haven't heard a thing from him and i'm starting to really get worried...

Is he okay? what if he's hurt?! what is he's dead!? why haven't i heard anything from him!? where is he? did he leave the state? did he leave the country!? oh please come back... please please... I thought to myself.

I sigh to myself and I stare at the ceiling of the bedroom. Tears welling up in my eyes.

I have been crying pretty much every night since König left. I tried to be strong, but it was so, so hard... I couldn't help it, i cried, and cried. Sometimes i even cried myself to sleep... 

Tonight was harder than normal... my over thinking got way to bad...

He's definitely dead,.. the mission shouldn't have take this long, should it? He's probably dead somewhere and no one has contacted me!! He could be dead out on a battlefield right now! His limp body with bullet holes in it... no....

I sobbed harder, and harder. to the point i couldn't breath... i put my hands in my hair and gripped it tightly. I tried to collect my breath, which finally worked after about ten minutes of hyperventilating. I got up from my spot in the bed and i went over to my night stand, pulling out a fresh blade.

SCROLL NOW IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ A SH SCENE

I ran the blade across my skin, leaving cuts in my wrist. The blood slowly trickled out, and i just kept going. cut, after cut. I left cuts going all the way up my forearm before finally dropping the blade onto the floor, and blood dripping down as well. I cried heavily as i looked at what i did. Shakily, i got up, and i made my way to the bathroom, and i ran my arm under cool water. I watched as the water rinsed off the blood from my arm. After the blood finally started to slow down i took my arm out of the water and i took out a first aid kit. i look some antiseptic wipes and i wiped my arm clean. wincing in pain as the sting from the wipe stung my arm. I then took some gauze and i put that on my arm and wrapped it onto my arm with roller bandage. I used my teeth to tear the roller bandage and i pushed it down softly so it would stick. i looked up into the mirror, looking at my red and puffy eyes and i wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

OKAY THE SCENE IS OVER NOW YOU MAY CONTINUE READING IF YOU SKIPPED THE SH SCENE.

I walked back to my bedroom and i picked up the blade and i threw it into the trash angrily. I grabbed my phone and i opened my "I Am Sober" app. I looked at the "3 weeks" Clock and i pressed "review today" and i checked yes on the SH question. i finished reviewing and i watched it reset the time. 

Here we go again... I worked so hard for that... I guess there's no going back now...

I laid back into the bed and i looked at all the pictures of me and König on my phone. We both looked so happy... I really hoped he was okay. Maybe his mission is just a really long and hard one, one that takes a lot of time to complete.

Hopefully. He's okay..

                              König

I looked out of the window in the car as i drove back home. I have been gone for two weeks and i'm finally returning to YN. I have missed them so much, and i am so excited to see them. It's been way too long. I can't leave them like this again, which is why i completely retired from the military. i will be home full time now. I am to happy to get home.

I pulled into the drive way, and i got out of the car. I walked up to the front door and i quietly entered the house. I walk through the living room looking for YN. I walk over to the bedroom and i quietly open the door to see YN cuddled up with a blanket, asleep on the bed. I smiled at the sight and i quietly took off my boots and my uniform leaving me in short and a T shirt. I carefully climbed into the bed to lay next to them, and i wrapped my arm around them. They slowly turned around and opened their eyes. Their eyes widened and they immediately jumped onto me and hugged me tightly. I chuckled and i hugged them back.

"Hello Meine Liebe." I say kissing their neck softly.

they hugged me even tighter and i did the same. I felt something on their arm against my neck, but i brushed it off for the moment and i let them hug me. Once they pulled away and looked at me i gently took their arm... i as the bandage and immediately knew what happened.  my eyes widened, and i looked up into their eyes.

"Honey... you cut yourself didn't you...?" I asked softly and sadly...

They nodded softly and their gaze left mine... I lifted their arm up to my lips and i gently kissed their arm a few times. Once i kissed their arm a few times i put my free hand on their cheek and gently made them look at me.

"It's okay Honey... it's okay... i'm so sorry you had to be in that much pain... i'm never leaving again... i retired for good baby... i'm not leaving again. You'll never have to do this again." I whisper to them softly.

They smile at me softly and i bring them into me again. i hugged them and i brought them on top of me to lay on my chest. I laid their head down on my chest.

"shhh,.. sleep, love, sleep... i'm home, and i'm safe... get some sleep honey." I say gently running my hand through their hair.

I felt great pain for causing them to cut themselves, but i felt great relief that i was now home, and i could now protect them.