The Shadows | Astarion

~ 20 ~

Aelia woke up in the morning alone, and she groaned as she dragged herself out of bed.

She didn't know why she'd ran from him, especially after such a vulnerable moment for both of them.

But she was scared.

She'd never experienced a moment like that, especially not with the man she was forced to marry, and not with anyone in the hundred and fifty years she was imprisoned.

She didn't know how to be with someone, not like that. And she was terrified of it.

She rubbed her eyes and got dressed, they'd be leaving the tavern when night came and travel further inland, near the area where the people in the village claimed the ring had been taken.

She got ready and then left her room, wondering whether to speak to Astarion about it. But she paused, and felt she needed to speak to someone else first.

She silently walked to Shadowheart's door and knocked, and a mumble came from inside so she walked in.

She sat on Shadowheart's bed and sighed, seeing that the cleric was still in bed.

"How do you feel this morning?" She asked, and Shadowheart grinned.

"Not awful, how about you?"

Aelia sighed, "I feel awful, and not from the alcohol. Something happened between me and Astarion."

Shadowheart gasped and beckoned Aelia over, so she moved to sit beside the cleric on the bed, side by side.

"What happened?"

"After you all went to bed, we went downstairs and danced, and then we... kissed. But I ran away. And I don't know why, I just felt terrified." Aelia explained, and her friend listened.

"Why are you scared?"

"I've never experienced anything like that in my life, I can't remember anything from before my marriage. But after everything we've both been through, I don't want to hurt him." Aelia replied, "He's been through so much, and maybe he doesn't know what he wants, maybe he's confused, maybe-"

"Aelia, you need to calm down. Astarion knows that he is free from Cazador and his will is his own. Maybe he's decided he's ready for something like this, and you need to decide if you're ready for it too." Shadowheart said calmly, rubbing her shoulder gently.

Aelia nodded and felt her heartbeat calm down, she breathed out deeply and hugged her friend, thanking her quietly.

"Why don't you come with me to the markets, it would do you some good to get out of here and think." Shadowheart said, and Aelia nodded.

*

Aelia and Shadowheart spent the day at the market, bartering for different items and spying different wares at the different stalls.

The sun was slowly setting as they walked back to the tavern.

They'd both talked more about their pasts, and felt closer to each other in a way, they understood.

"Do you think you're ready for it?" Shadowheart asked, glancing at Aelia before looking back at the path.

"Ready for what?" But Aelia knew exactly what she was asking.

"To open yourself up to relationships."

Aelia pondered it, "I think I am open to it, but I'd have to take my time with adjusting to it. The person would have to be willing to go about it slowly."

Shadowheart nodded, "That's reasonable, what you went through was horrible. But Astarion understands, he's probably trying to adjust too."

Aelia nodded and hated herself, for the pain she's probably caused for Astarion. He'd finally taken a step forward from his past, and Aelia ruined everything.

"I feel like even though I've been travelling with you all for not that long, my mind has healed so much quicker than the past ten years in Baldur's Gate." Aelia added, and Shadowheart smiled, but stayed silent whilst the healer reflected.

She carried on, "It's like I focused so much of my time and energy healing so many others that, I never put that time into myself, and just ignored my past and buried it."

"I'm glad you're putting yourself first." Shadowheart said, and they finally made it to the tavern, just when it was dropping dark.

They entered through the back entrance and walked up the stairs, silence came from Astarion's room.

"You can talk to him when you're ready." Shadowheart said, then walked to her room, probably packing up her bag.

Aelia sighed and walked into her own room, packing her own stuff. After a while, she heard a knock on her door. She took that as they were leaving now, so she collected her pack and opened the door.

She stilled when she saw who it was.

Astarion stared at her, "We're leaving now." He muttered, then turned away, heading for the stairs.

Aelia's voice wavered, "Astarion, wait!" She said, but he carried on down the stairs, and she sighed.

Following him, she walked to the downstairs and gave Shadowheart the key to her room, who would give the keys back to the tavern owner.

Astarion and Aelia stood in silence, and Gale looked between them awkwardly.

He opened his mouth, but Aelia shook her head, and he closed it again.

Soon they had left the tavern, and set off down the road, the lights along the road dimmed in the darkness.

Aelia found herself at the back of the group, Astarion stood beside her but they didn't speak.

"Astarion, please just let me explain." She pleaded, and he glanced at her.

"There's no need to explain. I understand if I am not what you want." He grounded out, his voice lost it's cockiness, it's confidence.

The healer didn't know what to say, and felt helpless.

Silence was left between them as they treaded further along the road, soon entering the forest.