"I'm not gay" (Monty x male reader)

~My Perfect Dear~

Lime= A fanfiction or chapter of a fanfiction in which characters graphically fool around, but do not actually have sex.
TW:
Mention of SH/SH scars
Child abuse mention
Angst
Abusive relationship
Mention of miscarriages
Unstable relationships/ households
Suicide/ attempted suicide

I feel I need to mention that the "robots" are HUMAN but are referred as "gator" or "wolf" or "bear" and so on just cuz it fits.
THEY ARE NOT ROBOTS.
Okay enjoy.

3RD PERSON:

Monty sat Y/N on the pull out, sitting slightly behind him and snuggling into his neck. Monty kisses his cheek softly, then kissing his neck and little bit of shoulder that was exposed. Y/N giggled as he rested his hand on the Gator's cheek as he kissed all along him.

Monty's hand slid up Y/N's shirt as he kissed up his neck.
Y/N moaned softly at the touch. Monty began to slide the shirt off of Y/N's body.
Y/N stopped him.
"No no, shirt stays on... okay?"
"What's under there that you don't want me to see?"
"It's just... It's nothing."
"Then why do you want to keep it on?"

"I just do, okay? Drop it Monty!"
Y/N looked away from him, turning his body and bringing his knees to his chest.
"I.. oh.. Cher... I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to upset you! I just don't like it when you hide things from me.. is.. is what's under there bad? Or... do you not like it about yourself?"

"I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING DROP IT MONTGOMERY!" Y/N lashed out, looking over his shoulder at Monty, starring daggers at him.

Monty backed away slightly, shocked and embarrassed.
"Sorry.." he looked down at his chris-crossed legs, ashamed.
"Oh I... Monty I didn't mean to yell sweetie.. I just... I'm sorry."
"No no, I am, I'm asking too many questions. I'm sorry Cher."

Y/N flipped over to face Monty fully.
"Baby.. I really didn't mean to yell... but.. this is a personal matter that I have to deal with myself." Y/N said sadly, placing a hand in the Gator's shoulder.
"But why can't we both deal with it together?" Monty looked up at him, holding the hand on his shoulder in his own.
"Because it's... it's because of my past.. and you're my present.. you wouldn't understand."

"Yes I would! I will hear you out on anything my dear~"

Y/N took a deep breath in, unsure if he were ready to discuss his past before the Pizzaplex.
"Please Cher~ I want to help you.."
Y/N braced himself before breaking down in tears, curling into Monty's arms.

Monty hugged him tightly, kissing their forehead.
"It's okay, yer okay.. I love you Cher~"

Y/N sniffled, looking up at the Gator and wiping tears off his cheek.
"When I was... when I was a little boy.. my mother had a miscarriage and... and that really fucked her up. She fell into an addiction, she was doing drugs and drinking.. and my father couldn't stand to see her like that. So he took me and we stayed at my Aunties house. My dads sister... she allowed me to stay while my dad tried to help my mother.. but eventually they filed for divorce and somehow my mother won full custody of me. She says I ruined her life.. and she made that very clear as I grew up... she blamed my birth for being the reason she couldn't bare another child."

He sniffled and wiped his face again.
"Everyday... she told me I ruined her, that she was a star before I was born.. s-she said everything was my fault.. that I-I was the reason she couldn't have another baby... I think... I think maybe she's right."

Y/N started crying harder, taking deep, slow, breathes to calm himself down.
"Y/N... I'm... I'm so sor-"
"I'm not done.."
Monty sat with Y/N in his lap, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"My father... after losing custody of me he... he killed himself. And I thought, if I could ever see my father again... then I'd have to die.. so.. I Uhm... I tried."
Y/N pulled up their sleeve to show a deep, dark scar going from their wrist to a little further down the arm. He cried harder.

"And it didn't work.. and I ended up back with my mother.. then I left that house, and I met Allen... and he was just like my mother. Everything was my fault, he would say he was going to hurt himself if I left... he would say he's nothing without me and threaten to kill himself if I didn't sleep with him. He pushed into corners and walls. He would lash out and hit.. and when I left... the fucking bastard completely destroyed my car. I had to stay with my Aunt until I found another job and got my own apartment.. and during all this.. I'd cut myself. During some time I also dated Danny, and he wasn't as bad, but we didn't see eye to eye. so we broke up and he slept with my best friend the same night. blamed.. I Blame everything on myself.. and I thought working here would distract me... but it didn't... and I relapsed.. I'm so pathetic.. none of this is helping.. I was almost a year clean."

Y/N covered his face with his hands as he continued to sob.
Monty didn't say a word, he simply laid Y/N down on the bed, and slowly peeled the shirt off of him.
"Wait!" Y/N cried, putting up his hand to stop him. Monty backed up, putting his hands up by his head and looking at him worried.
"I... okay..." Y/N surrendered as he let Monty continue to peel the shirt off of him.

Y/N covered his face with one of his arms as Monty pulled off his pants and boxers, exposing fresh, unhealed cuts on Y/N's thighs. Monty held Y/N's arms in his hands.

Monty examined his arms, the deep cuts which covered his beautiful skin. Monty's eyes pricked with tears and he gently kissed the scars that would never leave. The scars that showed every time Y/N hated himself, every time he felt he wasn't good enough, every time he felt unloveable, every time he wanted to be dead, every day before he came to the Pizzaplex, and every day after he did.
"M-Monty.."
Monty looked down at him as he continued to kiss.

"Why do you... why do you care so much about me?"
Monty backed up a little, thinking before speaking.

"Because you're everything I can't be.. You're funny, kind and caring, while I'm selfish and egotistical. I've never cared for anyone as much as I have you. I hated you because I loved you, and I hated myself for loving you. Look at you Y/N, you're beautiful, charming, amazingly talented.. I'm not.. I don't choose what I do, or how I look.. people in a fucking office do.. you are what I inspire to be Cher... don't forget that.."

Monty went back to kissing, and kissing, and kissing.
Y/N cried harder. His eyes starting to hurt from the steaming tears rolling down his cheeks, his body trembling under Monty's gentle touch and gentle kisses. His body shaking and jolting at certain points.
"M-Monty stop I can't.. I.. I can't.."

Monty didn't stop, he continued to kiss.
"You are my everything Cher... I need you to know that.. if I ever lost you.. I'd go insane. I'd burn this damn place to the ground. I fuckin' need you my darling~ I'm nothing without you~" Monty pulled Y/N close to him, drapping the blanket over them as he lay with him.

"Y/N, I'm not going to make you promise me to never do this again, but... I want you to be more honest and open with me.. don't hide yourself because you think I won't understand. I want to help you through this.. will you let me help you?" Monty looked down at him.
"Yes.. I will."

Y/N continued to sob into Monty's large chest, while Monty just held onto him, whispering to him about what and how much he loves him.

"Cher... I want to get married."

Word count: 1,398