Dead love in my hands (Troy Otto story/ Fear the walking dead/ ftwd)

Time

I left the Clark house. It was close to five o'clock. I walked a few meters to Otto's house. There were no lights on in Jeremiah's office, and Jake didn't seem to be there, either; it was silent everywhere. As I walked down the hall, I saw a light in the crack of one door, and I was right in thinking it was Troy's room. He was already awake, standing by the dresser with his back to the door, putting on his watch.

"You could use one too, Della," he realized I'd walked in and said without turning around: "I asked you to wake me up in two hours, and you're late."

"You didn't get anything mixed up? Do I look like your alarm clock?"

"It would be nice to have an alarm clock like that." He said it slowly, emphasizing each word, but with absolutely no emotion, as always.

"If you'd said it in a different tone, I would have thought you were flirting."

"It could be anything. But I'm definitely getting you a watch."

Looking at my empty wrist, I said:

"Apparently I left the watch in my car, it's not far from the ranch, I'll go get it when I have time."

Troy threw his shirt on over his t-shirt and turned away:

"I'm ready, let's go."

"Look, we need to get the house ready to receive my family, we'll be back late."

"I already told my dad. We don't have separate houses for the whole family. But we do have two spare rooms. You live in one. The other one is upstairs, and there's another room at Madison's house, so we'll put the adults in hers, Alisha will move into your room, when we find your sister, she'll be with you, and Nick and your brother will stay upstairs, okay?"

"Naturally, thank you," I brightened. I was glad it was settled, and I was even happier that Troy had decided it. It was like he didn't fit the Clarks' and Jake's stories at all.

As soon as we got in the car, I decided to make conversation and find out everything about this military base firsthand:

"What's the military base that Jake said your dad sent you to?"

"None of your business," he tensed, though he tried to maintain a semblance of nonchalance.

"No, you tell me, Troy, I won't rest. And believe me, my fantasies about what you did in there are probably worse than the reality!"

"What makes you think I have to report to you and tell you anything?" -

"It's not that you have to, of course, it's just..."

"That's it, shut up, or I'll turn around and go back to the ranch, and you'll go with someone else," he said very roughly, and looked at me with a look of determination to do what he threatened.

I turned back to the window, looking as offended as possible. It was a good thing he knew where to go, because I had informed him earlier. We had to get past the dam. Until then, I could remain silent. I don't know how long it was before he spoke, but it felt like a decent amount of time.

"Hey, did you fall asleep?"

"No."

"At that base, we were doing military experiments, doing experiments, studying walkers and..."

"You killed people?"

"Della, I'm military."

"Be specific."

"Yeah."

"Do you consider yourself special?"

He shrugged.

"A lot of people have had to kill in the new world out of choice, Troy."

"Have you, Doctor? What about the Hippocratic Oath?", he made his tone sarcastic. I remained silent. He looked at me and his face went from cheerful to frowning quickly.

"I'm sorry. "

"You're sorry? Do you know how to have any feelings, Troy?"

"You don't have to say that, I'm sincere than that."

"I don't care," I shook my head.

"Whatever you say. But we still have a couple hours to go, so I don't mind talking."

"About what?"

"Tell me about your family, who they are, how you ended up here?"

"Are you really so bored that you're trying to be nice?"

"It's cold interest, nothing more. I need to know who's coming to my house."

"My parents and my little brother are there. Like I said, we were going to my sister's wedding. The groom's gone somewhere, with my husband... well, you already know. We don't know about the rest of the family. They cut off communication almost immediately."

"You don't think your sister's out looking for her soul mate?"

"I didn't even think about it, to be honest. It's been a while. But we're not far from where it all started for us. You might be right. I'll have to check it out."

"So your parents don't panic until we find her, we need to say something to your family. I'll warn Jake and my dad."

"Yeah. But what do I say?"

"Just tell them she's out looking for... what's her boyfriend's name?"

For some reason, it felt good that Troy was so involved in the situation. I felt like he was starting to trust me. It was weird, but it was really uplifting. When we got to my family's house and realized Clara wasn't there, I told them that she'd run off to find Michael, leaving a note. They believed it, though they were upset. In fact, it was like her usual antics. She also left our home without telling anyone and then announced her engagement via video call, and which was a wedding invitation.

My family received Troy quite cordially, it wasn't until we all sat down at the table to eat dinner that I explained that we needed to pack up and get out of here, I told them about the ranch, Troy helped convince everyone. After we ate, Troy and my brother and I walked out of the house and into the street.

"It's weird that Clara didn't say anything to you and just decided to leave like that," Danny started.

"She used to do something like this all the time before, don't you remember?"

"Yeah, but it used to be acceptable, and now...? Dumped you without thinking about how dangerous it was for both of you."

"Come on Danny, I got lucky, I found the ranch."

"She'll be found, but the fact that she's gone is for the best, now you have a new home," Troy interjected.

"I guess so. Okay, I'm going to go pack my stuff too. Don't go too far from the house, there are a lot of walkers. Good night."

"Come on, I'll show you to your room, Troy, since this is my last chance to show you hospitality. Tomorrow, it will be your prerogative."

He laughed.

"No, I'm not going to sleep anyway. I slept all day. You know, you have great parents, you have a real family. I've never had a family like that. I really haven't."

"It's sad, but you can always have a real family, you just have to create one yourself."

He shook his head:

"No, I won't make a father or a husband, that's for sure. I'm meant for something else."

"Sometimes I think I am too.... Though it's not surprising now."

"Maybe we're special?" Troy said ironically.

"I don't think so... it's probably just not time yet."