HEART FOR BRAINS • the walking dead

trying not to forget

Dear Jesse and Oscar,

I'm fourteen now. It was my birthday a few days ago. It was fun, you would've liked it. It wasn't a party. We can't have parties but it was exactly what I wanted.

It's been a while since I wrote. I've been thinking so much but never seen to write it down. I think its because so much is going on.

Baby Judith was born just over a month ago. She's still so small it's weird. I think she likes me though, she doesn't cry a lot when I hold her and also we have lots of new people here now. They are from Woodbury. I think it's been a month since they arrived.

What my point was is that I feel like I'm forgetting you Oscar and I don't want to. I really don't want to. I cant seem to remember what you liked or even how your face looked. Did you look like me? I know Jesse did.

There was a man in the prison, he had your name but he's gone now. I've been thinking about you a lot since then. I'm your age now. I got sad about it a few nights ago. Carl asked me what was wrong but I couldn't tell him. It felt stupid. I told Daryl and he made sure that I knew it wasn't.

I'm not forgetting you, Jesse. I think of you all the time. You turned into one of those things and I saw it. Every time I kill one I think about how they could be someone's brother. Someones sister or dad or mom or best friend. It doesn't stop me from killing them. I have to do it. I have to put them out of their misery. That's what Carol says it is.

It makes me sad to think about it. Did you have to die? Did Rick put you out of your misery?

Daryl tells me not to think about the past too much. I am trying not too.

He left a few weeks ago and I try not to think about that either. He came back though, so I guess it's okay, but what if he leaves again? I think I'd be even sadder than before.

I'm Glenn's brother now, he told me so himself. I think that makes Maggie my sister in law because they got married? I don't really know how that works. You would both like them.

We could've been one big family. We kind of are now but I just wish you were a part of it. Everyone makes their own family here, your lucky if you still have any real relatives left.

Staying at the prison has made everything a lot better. Everyone feels safer. That just makes me think that it's not. I hope I'm wrong. I think I am. We've been here over a month with no problem. We've got this.

Love from Rio