The Keeper

1997

It was the morning after 1997's general election and, after eighteen years of Conservative government, New Labour had got into power. There was a sense of optimism everywhere, as Martha picked up the paper from the cheery newsagent, nodded to her smiling neighbour by the mailboxes, and returned to the flat. But she didn't feel optimistic. The more time she spent in London, the more she missed the countryside. She was still in touch with her art school friends, but didn't see them much. Camille was working and partying hard in Manchester, Frankie was loved up with a girlfriend and two pugs in Brighton, and Garth had fallen on his feet in the fashion world in New York; he was having too much fun with his work and a succession of boyfriends to consider coming back to England.

The last vestiges of Marty had withered away to leave Martha feeling like a hamster on a treadmill in a cage in a travelling circus. Everything changed around her, but she was running in place, getting nowhere and wondering what the hell she was doing there. She was in the same flat, subletting it to a succession of students and young professionals. None of them were like Camille, Frankie and Garth, let alone how she used to be with Amy. To fill the void, she had made friends of necessity. There were work friends to have a drink with early on a Friday before heading home, and activity friends to play tennis with at the community courts. But she didn't know anyone she could have a real heart-to-heart with. If she left the city, the friendships would fade like writing on a morning misted window. They weren't her kind of people; they weren't even Marty's kind of people. With each passing year, she went out less, preferring to stay at home and work in her cramped room. Now and then, her flatmates persuaded her to go out with them. That was when she missed Dean the most and needed to obliterate the pain. She drank too much and went off with unsuitable men. But it was better for her and them. She didn't want to risk broken hearts again. It was more than she thought she could bear.

Martha needed a change, but didn't know where to start. She hung up her coat and went to make tea to have with a sharing-sized bar of chocolate that she would relish eating alone. The kettle boiled, she poured the water over a second-use tea bag and mashed the last of the flavour out with a teaspoon, cursing when she heard the entrance intercom buzz. The intercom that the landlord hadn't fixed, and that Martha hadn't mentioned again, since it was years since he'd last put the rent up. It was probably someone calling on one of her flatmates. She padded down to the entrance, hoping she could usher them away in a hurry. She certainly didn't expect to see Amy when she opened the door.

"Hello, Martha."

"Amy! What are you doing here?"

"Is it a bad time?"

"No, no, it's not. Come in."

Amy took off her coat and closed the door behind her as she followed Martha into the kitchen.

Martha clicked on the kettle. "I didn't realise you were in London."

"I've been here a while. Brendan and I split up a couple of years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. Things were never really the same after we graduated and our crowd broke up. Living together was the last straw. It wasn't ever going to work. I kept dropping hints of getting married and having children someday, but that's not what he wanted and it took me too many years to see that."

"So what are you doing here?"

"When we broke up, I needed a change. There was a business development job in Highgate with an engineering company. I applied on the off chance and got it. I've been here ever since. Sorry."

"Don't be. I was a complete arse. I should've apologised before. Though I sent you a card actually, but..."

"It's okay. I forgot to redirect my post when I left everything in a hurry. You wouldn't know."

"I would if I'd been keeping in touch with you. Sorry."

"No more apologies! I'm here now, and thankfully so are you." Amy gave Martha a big hug and then stepped back to look at her. "You're still in your pyjamas at 1 p.m. Have I disturbed something?"

"Don't be daft. Nothing like that happens to me these days."

"Well, I'm here to change that. We need to change everything."