Your shoelaces are undone

Chapter 6

Word count: 900 words

Friday 5th November 2006 7:58 pm

TW, BRIEF MENTION OF SELF HARM AND A PANIC ATTACK SO JUST BE CAREFUL IF IT COULD TRIGGER YOU X

JULIETTA'S POV

I'm sat in Nick's car with Matt, Jamie and Alex.  Katie's car drives behind us and we turn left into the car park which is a short walk from the park.

The car park is pretty full but we manage to find a space in between a Land rover and a ford Cortina. You don't see many ford Cortinas anymore but they are still a nice looking car none the less.

Everyone is so excited to see the fireworks tonight. I'm not, I'm only here because Jamie asked if I wanted to go and I felt bad saying no.

We get out of the car. Katie has parked her car 4 cars down from us. She gets out of her car, and we begin walking towards the park. 

It's your usual park really, its got play equipment for the kids, oak-wood picnic picnic benches and a huge cricket field. I'm shit at cricket so I've never really used it. The only time I think I've ever used it was when Jamie wanted someone to bowl the ball to him so he could bat. He batted it straight at my face. 

"We got everyone?" Nick asks. Honestly he's the Mum of this friend group

"Yep" Matt replies. And with that, we start walking to the park. Its a short 2 minute walk, through the woods. There's quite a few stinging nettles along the path and while everyone tries their best to avoid them, I walk straight through them. Not really bothered if they sting me.

 I walk at the back, listening to music via my headphones. Matt and Nick are talking. Katie and Jamie are talking. Meanwhile, Alex walks in front of me, in silence. He seems so off in his little world that I take one earphone out and tap his back.

"You okay Al?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" With this, I pull my top down so he can't see the cuts. They weren't visible but ever since I made the cuts, I've been paranoid that someone will see them and then tell someone about them.

 He answers my question with another question. I'm fairly certain that's called the Socratic method. 

I know he's talking about my little crying session that I had the other night. I guess I couldn't have avoided talking about it forever. But right now, I'm going to try my best to dismiss it. I'm already nervous about the fireworks making me flinch, if we talk about my crying session, then I think that might just tip me over the edge.

"What do you mean?" I decide to play dumb. It's the only option that I could think of. Give it a few hours and I will come up with a better plan than to play dumb but right now, I'll stick to the plan I've got.

"Julietta. You know what I mean." He quietens his voice but it's still sad to know he has seen straight through my plan.

"No I don't"

He pulls me towards him so he can come across as intimidating but it doesn't really work.

"Don't play dumb with me darlin'. You know what I'm talking about." 

"Stay out of it yeah?" I snap at him. Before he can reply, a firework goes off in the distance and I flinch. He obviously takes note of this as he walks to Jamie. Fuck. What if he snitches on me and tells Jamie? 

Alex's POV

I walk to Jamie after seeing Julietta flinch. She's worrying me more by the second. I know she doesn't want to admit that I saw her crying the other day. 

I whisper to Jamie "Keep an eye on Julietta" 

"Why?" he whispers back.

"She keeps flinching at the fireworks"  I don't tell him about her crying. I feel like she's gonna hate me if I do and if she hates me, then there is zero chance that she'll even consider going out with me.

"yeah I know, she did the same thing last year. She'll be fine though" He replies

We get to the park, and the fireworks have started. They're beautiful. All of the colours in the sky are so pretty. Julietta on the other hand, is frightened out of her skin. She keeps flinching at each firework that goes off.

She looks pale, almost as if she's ill. 

"Julietta, you okay sweetheart? You look pale"

"I'm fine" she mumbles and wanders off to Jamie. I watch as Jamie hugs her. I don't think she's ill. She was fine earlier and I really don't think that a sickness would just appear like how her paleness did.

I am stood not to far but far enough away from Julietta and Jamie so I can't really tell what is going on but I can see Jamie. He looks scared. I catch a glimpse of Julietta. She's breathing really quickly and crying.

I quicky walk over to the pair of them and Jamie seems thankful that I've come over.

"Alex, something's wrong with Julietta" he says as he moves out of the way so I can see her properly. She's breathing really quickly, crying and shaking.

"Jamie" 

"yeah" he says before I can even finish my sentence

"she's having a panic attack."

SORRY THIS ONES A LITTLE BIT SHORTER THAN THE OTHERS BUT ALL THE EXCITING THINGS HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER X