Ineffable Family

Chapter 10

PLAYLIST:

Dream Girl Evil by Florence and the Machine

Daughters of Darkness by Halestorm

Rock and Roll Train by AC/DC

TW: violence, danger

"Tea, in your favorite cup."

A white mug with an angel-wing handle landed on Aziraphale's desk. He tilted his head back to smile at Crowley. "I'm supposed to be waiting on you, dear. You're--"

"Eight months pregnant, I know." Crowley kissed him. "I'm also really bored."

"If you need something to do, you can help me with this translation," Aziraphale said, already knowing the answer. "It's a poem, I'm changing it from Amharicto--"

"I will never be that bored," Crowley interrupted. "Now if you've got a Stephen King novel you need translated to Ancient Sumerian, then I'm your guy—girl—person.Until then, I think I'll have a nap by the fire."

"Snake," Aziraphale called over his shoulder.

"Cherub," Crowley shot back.

They grinned at each other, and then the front door exploded off its hinges. Glass sprayed all over the shop. Aziraphale's chair crashed over backwards with him still in it; Crowley was thrown across the room.

Aziraphale scraped the blood out of his eyes. The first thing he saw was Crowley, apparently unconscious. He almost ran to her--

--but then he caught sight of the three demons who had just stepped inside. He recognized two of them: their old nemesis Furfur, and the fallen angel Azazel. The third was unfamiliar.

"Azzzziraphale," buzzed Furfur. "We're here for the demon. Stand aside or be smitted, you irritating little cherub."

"That's smote, you uneducated buffoon. And I am no cherub. " Aziraphale summoned his flaming sword out of the ether. "I am a Principality, Guardian of the Eastern Gate. You have one chance: leave now."

"We came for the demon and its creature, and we're not leaving without it."

That was all Aziraphale needed to know. He charged with a fury that the demons hadn't expected. Furfur and Azazel dove aside, but the third demon died with a pitiful scream. Aziraphale was moving before the body hit the ground, spinning toward the other two. A slap from his wing sent Azazel flying into a set of bookshelves, which collapsed on him.

Furfur summoned and raised his own weapon, a black blade that struck Aziraphale's with a piercing screech. Aziraphale felt the shock all the way up his arm. He gritted his teeth and shoved his opponent back. Holy Rage was burning in him now, rage that they had dared come here, to violate the only sanctuary he and Crowley ever had. They had no right.

"You will not take my family!" Aziraphale screamed. He struck again, driving Furfur back with the ferocity of his attack, and slashed the demon's face open. Their blades clashed with incredible force, sending sparks flying.

Azazel finally dug himself out from under the avalanche of encyclopedias, and wasted no time leaping into the fray. His massive hands were weapon enough; he used them to grab Aziraphale's wings and twist them painfully behind his back while Furfur grabbed him by the throat.

"I underestimated you." He hoisted the angel into the air. "Dagon will have a heyday with the paperwork on poor Typhon."

The demon's fists crushed down on Aziraphale's windpipe, his veins, and his nerves, sending him sliding toward unconsciousness. He couldn't maintain his grip on his sword; it slipped from nerveless fingers. His feeble struggles were useless.

"I can't decide," Furfur said thoughtfully. "Should I break your neck? Choke the life out of you? So many possibilities. Maybe I'll take you home and give you a bath in sulfur. Wouldn't that be a nice bit of irony? The angel who loved a demon, dragged Down."

Suddenly, Azazel disappeared in a ball of fire. His dying scream echoed through the shop.

"What?" Furfur shrieked.

Crowley was her feet; flames streamed from the fireplace to swirl around her hands, revealing how she'd killed Azazel. Her eyes were fully serpent, yellow and glowing with hate. "Put...him...down," she hissed through her fangs.

"No," Aziraphale choked. His eyes started to roll back in his head. "Don't..."

"You would kill your own kind?" Furfur asked casually, as though he didn't have a half-dead angel dangling from his fists.

"You are not my kind," Crowley snapped. Her huge black wings opened behind her like a storm cloud. "You never were. One more chance: put my hussssband down before I burn you to death."

"Bitch, I'm fireproof."

"The fuck you are."

Crowley swept both hands forward and flame engulfed Furfur. The last thing Aziraphale saw darkness descended was the demon lurching toward Crowley, burning hands outstretched.

1. MIND THE BLOODY TAGS. If you didn't heed the warnings and find yourself triggered, don't say I didn't warn you.