Ineffable Family

Chapter 28

TW: anxiety, self-loathing, body dysphoria, discussions of mental health

playlist:

In Another's Eyes by Garth Brook and Trish Yearwood

There For You by Flyleaf

"We've got a problem."

Those were not words that anyone wants to hear, especially when they were uttered by a high-strung young angel as they came slam-bang through the bookshop door. Aziraphale was on his feet instantly. "What's wrong, Muriel?"

Before they could answer, Crowley slunk down the stairs. She asked with her usual eloquence, "What the fuck is going on downhere? I just put Hope down for a nap."

"Christmas festival's this weekend," Muriel said. "And there's an open-air church service tomorrow--right in front of the shop."

"Urrgghhh," Crowley groaned unintelligibly.

Aziraphale had a more coherent reply. "Well, I suppose we'll be headed to Mayfair."

"I'll drive!" Crowley practically shouted.

"Yes, my dear, I know."

Within an hour, the little family-minus Muriel, who elected to stay behind and watch the shop-arrived at Crowley's old flat. Within two hours, Hope was drowsing in her secondary bassinet while her parents sat on the couch eating Italian food from a restaurant that didn't usually deliver, except when given a massive tip.

"I can't believe it's the Christmas festival already," Crowley grumbled. "Guess I haven't been paying attention to the calendar."

"That's perfectly understandable, my dear. So, Hope's first Christmas," Aziraphale mused. "What shall we do?"

Crowley raised her eyebrows at the slightly manic twinkle in her angel's eyes. "I hardly think she'll remember it, angel."

"No, but we will. It's a tradition to--"

"A human tradition," Crowley pointed out.

"I happen to like human traditions," Aziraphale said primly, folding his hands in his lap. "The frost fair, the lights, the caroling-"

"Angel..."

"Oh, and we have to include Muriel in everything, too!"

"Angel." Crowley's voice was quiet. "I don't think I'm up for all that. I'm sorry, I know how much you love Christmas--"

"Oh!" Aziraphale gasped, covering his mouth in horror. "Oh,how terribly selfish of me! I didn't think about what you might want. Please forgive me."

"Don't be sorry." Crowley twirled her pasta around her fork so she didn't have to meet his gaze. "I know how much you love Christmas. But I'm just...so scared. Thinking about all the noise, the people, everyone so close to Hope--"

"You don't need to explain," Aziraphale cut in. "As long as we're together, it'll be a wonderful Christmas."

"We can still have Christmas do. Just...small."

"Hmm." Aziraphale chewed thoughtfully. Then his gaze fell on the sleeping Hope, and downright goofy grin spread across his face.

"What are you on about, angel?" Crowley asked him.

"Forget Christmas."

"Huh?"

"Forget Christmas," Aziraphale repeated. "We don't need it. I have...everything I ever wanted, and more."

Crowley smiled, too, toying with one of Hope's curls. "She's pretty amazing."

"Not just her. I've loved you for six thousand years," Aziraphale explained, "but I never thought we could share our lives. Yet here you are, here with me, my beautiful Crowley."

"Give me a few months and I'll be your beautiful Crowley again."

"Oh, my dear, you've never looked more beautiful to me."

"You're obviously not looking hard enough." Crowley poked her soft, still-round tummy. "I thought I'd, you know, get my body back, instead of looking like a bowl of demonic jelly."

Aziraphale thought of all the times she had told him that his plumpness was adorable, how much she loved his soft belly. It was time to return the favor.

"You, my dearest Crowley, are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Sliding to his knees in front of her, he raised her shirt and pressed a kiss to one of her stretchmarks. "Your body is incredible. It's six thousand years old. It survived floods, and plagues, and an apocalypse."

"You're being silly."

"I am not," the angel mumbled into her skin. He dropped kisses across her midsection until every mark had been properly attended to. "Your body grew our baby, nurtured her, kept her safe."

"But I'm not--"

"Most important, your body is home to the beautiful--" a kiss on her belly button "--wily--" he kissed her collarbone"--ineffable--" her neck "--demon--" her lips "--That I am madly in love with. Does that help, my dear?"

"A little." Crowley pulled him down for another, longer kiss."But do you know what would help even more?"

"Ah-ah." Aziraphale pried her fingers from his shirt. "I don't think you're ready for that yet."

Crowley let out a grumble.

"Let's go to bed. I'll read you and Hope a story."

Somebody knew Crowley wouldn't turn down quiet time with her angels.Aziraphale miracled the leftovers and dirty dishes to the kitchen,while Crowley took Hope's bassinet into their bedroom. The baby didn't stir.

Once he and Crowley were settled in bed, Aziraphale brandished the Dr. Seuss book he had selected for the night's reading. "Now, Ishall perform a magic trick!" he proclaimed.

"Oh, please don't, angel," Crowley groaned, because that's what she was supposed to do.

"No, this one is real!" he assured her. He put on a quieter version of his over-the-top stage persona. "I am going to put not one, but two Celestial beings to sleep with nothing but-drumroll please-my voice!"

"You could literally knock us out with a miracle but you--"

"Observe!" Aziraphale opened the book he had selected with a flourish. "As I say the magic words...I meant what I said, and I said what I meant--"

"That's not even the first line! You can't start a spell in the middle of the book!"

"And an elephant's faithful, one hundred percent!"

1. The book Aziraphale is reading is the second book of Horton Hears A Who by Dr. Seuss. Yes, there are two Horton books, and it's even cuter than the first one. Shoutout to my mom for reading this with me when I was little!

2. We all need a good dose of Aziraphale telling us to love ourselves, because everyone is beautiful in their own way.

3. This chapter was partly inspired by this Facebook post