UNTOLD | JJ Maybank

Chapter 10

JJ had brought Malou back to the Château, where she had started crying again. She hadn't wanted to sleep or to even go near her room or John Bs. So, they had stayed in the living room. JJ had been unsure of what to do. He wanted to help her, to be there for her. But he didn't know, if she wanted that. He didn't know anything and that fact scared him. He had always felt at home at the Château, but right in that moment, he had felt, like he was in the home of a stranger. John B would never come back here again and even though Malou was right in front of him, JJ had never felt more apart from her.

"Do you need something? Are you thirsty or hungry?", JJ eventually asked and felt silly right after, when Malou shook her head whilst she cried. Of course, she wasn't hungry. Sighing, JJ sat next to the sobbing girl and nervously rubbed his face.

"Do you want to be alone?", JJ asked again and felt surprised, when Malou suddenly turned her head to look at him. She sniffled one last time, before her sobbing turned into silent tears. For a moment, Malou just looked at him. JJ looked tired. His eyes were red and his face was pale. The blue in his eyes didn't sparkle like it usually would and his hair was messy from all the times he had ran his fingers through it that night.

While JJs mind was wrapped up in a thousand thoughts, Malou didn't think anything. Only in the moment she looked at him, her mind suddenly started to work again. John B and Sarah were dead. JJ had lost his best friend. JJ had taken her back home safely, because no one else was there now to take care of her. JJ was there. Pope wasn't there, because his parents took care of him now. Kiara wasn't there, because her parents took care of her now. No one would take care of JJ. He was alone, too. Right in that moment, Malou did what JJ couldn't. For a moment, she forgot everything that had happened before. Because even though they had drifted apart from each other in the last few weeks, JJ was there. Her JJ. And he needed her. And maybe, Malou needed him, too. So, without thinking about it, Malou hugged him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and placed her head on his chest as she hugged him tightly.

"No. Stay, please.", Malou answered quietly and heard JJ sigh in relief. He wrapped his arms around the smaller girl and hugged her back, while he nuzzled his face into her neck. Malou squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her grip around JJ, when she heard him sniffle. For hours, the both of them spent each other silent comfort. Eventually, they fell asleep and for just a few hours, their minds and hearts found some peace.

The next morning, Malou woke up to the sound of rain. She felt JJs arm wrapped around her waist loosely and listened to his steady breathing as he slept. Her body tensed and she suddenly felt hungover. She felt sick and tired and above all, she felt unsure about her and JJ.

The new day brought new thoughts, new realisations and new emotions. It was the kind of feeling you get, when you wake up next to stranger, after you drunkenly hooked up with them the night before. And maybe she had been drunk last night. Drunk of sadness and fear and now, her mind was sober. At least it felt like it. The fact, that her brother wouldn't come back home, hit her again, and suddenly, she felt angry.

Getting up from the small couch she had shared with JJ, she looked down on the sleeping boy for a second. Malou felt her body heat up and thought, that her blood was about to boil. She didn't quite know, where this strong emotion suddenly came from, but she couldn't help but feel angry at him. At Sheriff Peterkin, at Shoupe, at Ward and Rafe Cameron, at JJ, at Pope, at Kiara and above all, at John B and her father. Breathing heavily, Malou stormed into the old office of her father and looked around. This is the place where it had all started. This is the place where it had started to go down.

"This is your fault!", the girl screamed and grabbed the family picture of her, John B and her father and threw it across the room. She watched it fall to the ground and thought, that, just for a moment, her heart felt a little lighter, when she heard the glass shatter. Silently, Malou looked around the room. It was full of old books, diaries, documents and papers. Pictures of ships, maps and a few pictures of her and John B. Kind of lost, she walked around the room and kept taking things off the desk and shelves, just to throw them around. When she didn't feel satisfied with that anymore, she grabbed the big bookshelf and ripped on it, until she was able to knock it over. Once all the picture frames and books had fallen out and crashed onto the ground, Malou let the shelf fall down to the ground with a loud crash.

"What the - are you ok?" Malou turned around and saw JJ standing in the doorway, looking at her with a worried expression.

"Am I ok?!", she shouted angrily and took another picture, just to throw it at the wall right next to JJ. He flinched a little, but stepped inside the room anyway.

"I know, you feel angry right now, but this is not the right place to let the anger out. You might want those things back someday and then you'll regret destroying them.", JJ said calmly, as he looked around the messy room.

"I don't want any of those things. All of this killed my father and my brother.", Malou stated coldly and JJ felt a sting in his heart at how bitter she sounded.

"But I mean, if you and the others want that stuff, go and take it. Don't let me hinder you from getting the fucking gold you thought would fix all your problems.", Malou suddenly added and stared at JJ, while she waited for him to look back at her.

"Do you really think we care about that now?", JJ asked and Malou let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Now, after John B and Sarah died, you guys understand, that all of that was never worth it. As if money could fix your problems, as if it could make you happy. Glad to know, that it only took the lives of my brother and Sarah to make you understand that."

"That's not fair, Malou.", JJ said and stepped closer to her.

"Not fair?! Don't tell me anything about fairness, JJ! Is it fair, that I lost my father and my brother, just because people like Ward Cameron and you guys wanted some money?! Is it fair, that my brother and Sarah died, because they had to flee of something they didn't even do?! Nothing of that is fair and none of that would have happened, if you would not have looked for that stupid wreck!" Hot tears ran down her cheeks, as Malou screamed at JJ. JJ looked around nervously and Malou wasn't sure, if he was about to cry or if he tried to contain is own anger. Either way, she took his silence as an opportunity to go on.

"And it's not fair, that you guys let me down. It's not fair, that you pushed me away, just because I was scared. I was scared, JJ. And in the end, it showed that I was right about it. But you – you pushed me away because of it. You let me alone. And it's... it's not fair, that you got to say goodbye." With her sleeves, Malou wiped the tears from her cheeks. JJ pressed his lips together, but Malou saw his watery eyes anyway.

"You got to say goodbye and I didn't. How is that fair?"

"He didn't want to get you in trouble for helping him flee, that's why we didn't tell you. He wanted to call you right after he would reach Mexico. He told us to tell you, that he said goodbye.", JJ explained quietly and felt his heart shatter, when Malou coldly laughed again.

"I don't give a fuck, JJ. Because he won't call me. He won't reach Mexico. I don't want to hear any excuses or stories of how John B wanted to protect me."

"Malou..."

"I actually don't want to hear anything. I want to be alone."

"You don't have to go through that alone. We can..."

"Please, shut up, JJ and leave. I don't need your pity and attempts of amends, just because you feel guilty. Just go." With those words, Malou turned around and waited for JJ to leave. Once she heard his footsteps, she sighed and sat down on the ground, surrounded by shattered glass, broken woods and ripped papers. It was a huge mess and she felt, like she was part of it.