Spiderman Oneshots

Zombies

Happy (belated) Halloween!

"Oh, no," Peter said. "Absolutely not." And he hung up.

A moment later the phone rang again. He sighed, long and hard. Aunt May gave him a pointed look over her meal.

"Can I not just have a nice night in?" Peter asked desperately. "Finish my ramen, watch a scary film, hand candy out to kids?"

May didn't say anything, just pressed the remote. The muted TV switched channels to show the news, which was of course covering the zombie invasion of New York. She raised an eyebrow. Peter sighed again.

His phone was still ringing. 

"Yep," he said as he picked up. "I wonder what the issue could be."

"Great, he's tired," someone said in the back of the call. "He gets sarcastic when he's tired."

"He's always sarcastic," someone else said.

"Am I on speaker?" Peter asked incredulously. "Did you put me on speaker?"

"No time, kiddo," Steve Rogers said. 

"I'm literally nineteen. Not a kiddo."

"One of Dr Strange's rivals has been messing with dark arts-"

"Dr Strange, on Halloween, of course it's Dr Strange. Fan-freaking-tastic."

"-and most of the corpses within city limits have reanimated and started behaving like... well, zombies."

Peter groaned, pinching his nose. He gazed longingly at his ramen. On the TV, a blonde man was silently screaming as he was overrun with decaying zombies who chomped onto his exposed arms with blunt teeth.

"Luckily, the, uh, zombie issue doesn't seem to be contagious. They are, um, biting people but the people are left mostly unharmed."

Some cops arrived in view of the news camera, firing at the zombies to drive them back. The blonde man was ushered away, still screaming.

"The Avengers are en route to Times Square where we'll meet with Strange, regroup and figure out how to stop these things. We'll see you there, Spider-Man." 

Peter sighed for the third and final time. "You've got it, Cap."

He put down the phone and pointed at May. "You'd better not watch the rocky horror picture show without me."

"I wouldn't dare, sweetie. Now go live out every teenage boy's zombie slaying dreams."

"Vampire hunting, May. Not zombies. Zombies probably smell."

"Have fun!" She called after him as he ducked into his room to change into his suit. He childishly stuck his tongue out at the closed door before pulling on the mask.

"They'd better not smell," he muttered to himself, then flung his body out of the window and across the skyline.

The Avengers were assembled in Times Square when he got there. Dr Strange was already explaining the technical magical details of the issue. 

"How do we stop them?" Clint asked, pushing the wizard to get to the point.

"With these," Strange produced a duffel full of sticks. "They're enchanted to remove the animation magic from the hosts. Touch one of the zombies and it'll revert back to a cadaver."

That... was easier than Peter had been anticipating. Even so- "Cleanup's not going to be fun on this one."

"No," Tony pulled a face. "Hey Ravenclaw, any chance I can get bullet versions of your magic wands? The suit's not exactly designed for delicate work."