1. Realisation

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The rain poured and poured and I kept kneeling there clutching onto the memories of the one I had not loved enough

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The rain poured and poured and I kept kneeling there clutching onto the memories of the one I had not loved enough.

Not loved enough?
No... I had loved her enough to last a lifetime.
I had loved her.
I had loved her so much that Now that she was gone I couldn't even breathe.

But I was also the one who had driven her away.
Loving someone is not enough if I didn't trust them. If I didn't show her my affection.
My love for it was all nothing.

Nothing at all.
.
.
.

"Abhi let's go to this Durga maa pendal. My family arranged it. I can't miss it." Amara said as she put on her Jhumka.

"Later. I am busy." I say still working with the clay. Moulding it. Giving it shape. Breathing in the life that the structure lacked.

"Abhi-"

"I said later, Jaan. Why don't you get ready by then?" I grudged softly still focusing on my work.

And then it was all quite...
Filling me up with uneasiness about why my chirpy wife hadn't uttered a word.

I look up from my unfinished sculpture at the dressing area. And there was my wife gorgeous and radiant as ever. Her almond shaped eyes. The symphony of hazel and browns. The perfect shade of warmth and light. Her full lips and round face. She was the personification of innocence and grace.

She was as royal and divine as she looked.

I hear her let out a frustrated sigh as she tries to tie her backless blouse. Her hair pulled to her left shoulder a cascade of beautiful waves.

My breath halted.
Taking in the beauty of the woman who was mine.

Mine to admire.
Mine to feel.
Mine to love?

She let out another distressed groan.
"Maa... you always give me these crazy designs. Now I have to tie this. Should have given me eyes at the back of my head too-"
She grumbled softly. Trying not to disturb me.
Not knowing she had all my attention.

I chuckled under my breath. And made my way towards her. Until I was right behind her.

She still hadn't realised my presence. She jumped slightly on her heels trying to tie the dori.

"May I?"

I slowly whispered into her ear.
She shuddered. Her eyes shut immediately and her breath erratic.

She slowly and uncertainly opened her eyes. Looking at the reflection of us together through the full length mirror.

She inhaled another sharp breath as her eyes went down my bare torso. And the clay on my abdomen and between my fingers.

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