22. Red Tulips

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You said I was too kind for this world didn't you? I was kind for you

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You said I was too kind for this world didn't you? I was kind for you. And now you have misused every emotion I showed to you. You are the biggest mistake I have made in my life. And the worst thing is that even after everything you just said I still can't hate you.

Biggest mistake.
I can't hate you.

Tears.
Sorrow.

What kind of human are you, Abhimanyu? Do you only care about yourself? You don't give two fucks to listen to the whole thing. You don't give me a chance to explain myself. You start acting like an ass and don't trust anyone just because of your past and your current experiences.

Human.
Care about yourself.
Don't trust.

Do you realise how much you have hurt? Who are you to hurt me? Who the fuck are you to hurt me Acharya? No one. You are no one to hurt me. To make a joke of everything I feel for you.

Who are you to hurt me?
No one.

I was no one.

Amara Listen...

No you listen. You don't want to listen to my explanation. I don't wish to give you one. Why should I give you a justification if you have already blamed me. You already hate me don't you?
You already hate me don't you?

No! I don't.
I don't hate you!
I hate the feeling of betrayal.
I hate the picture or even the ridiculous notion of you betraying me.

"The poison in your head is far too great for me to deal with Abhimanyu. This is only as far as I can help you. And now let me give you what you wanted..."

Leave!
Leave me!
Don't...

"What we shared that night was not a show. It can't be a show."

It can't be a show.

I know it was not.
My heart knows so.
But my mind is a fucked up place.

"I shall leave you be. I will leave you. Cause that is what I deserve."

"I will Leave you."
"Leave! And Never show me your face again."
"I will Leave you."

Darkness.
Darkness.
Darkness.

.
.
.
"Amara!"

I gasp and jolt up from my bed abruptly. Feeling every breath leaving my body turning harsh and brittle. So painful that I could feel my throat being clogged up and suffocation filling me.

It was not the first time I felt suffocated yet it was the only time I had felt it so vividly. I had been falling into the loop of memories of that day every night ever since that day in the studio.

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